The Tragedy
by SomberFilledWithSullen
Summary: It was a normal day in Manhattan, New York for both Austin and his girlfriend, Ally. Until the tragedy that came to be one of the most remembered moments of history... [Based off of 9/11 events]
1. when it hits

**Austin's POV:**  
I walk into school at 7:15 AM, as usual. Greeting some of my peers on the way to my locker, and giving my girlfriend a quick hug and a peck on the lips before heading to homeroom.

It's safe to say that I love school just as much as the stereotypical nerd. I'm usually always the first to class, I finish my work before the bell, I always have spare time on my hands for any extra credit, and I complete my homework right away so that I can do whatever I'd like to for the rest of the day. Call me a perfectionist, or a geek, if you'd like; it's not going to offend me. I'd actually take it as a compliment.

My girlfriend, Ally, is the same. School has always been her best subject, if you count school–all together–as a subject (because it technically is). She enjoys the exams, always participates in reading aloud, never hesitates to include herself in all discussions, and truly takes in what she's taught. I admire that about her, as not many people are as fond about school as she is. I guess it's the same with me, but her specifically. She's so smart, it's incredible.

You know what, I'm just gonna stop while I'm ahead. I could go on and on about her; I'll probably only end up frustrating myself because of lost focus.

Taking out the paraphernalia needed for the first 10 minutes of the day, which was really only a planner and a pencil, I sighed. I'm the only one in the room, and I'm early... So why do I bother, anyway? Oh, right, because I'm a nerd. I forgot.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'd never been teased for enjoying school. In junior high, I was actually bullied every day just for being myself; a kid who loved learning. Why is that a crime? The most successful people in the world were educated, and I want to be successful, hence why I want to be educated. It's not only that, sure—I loved telling my parents what I had learned after school everyday—but that doesn't give kids the right to be judgmental about it. If they had actual goals set for themselves, then they wouldn't be talking.

Just saying.

My thoughts were interrupted by the bell and a sea of students rushing through the hall, and into the classroom. I coughed inwardly, trying to maintain my natural state, before looking down at my planner and trying to blend in. Ok, yes, I'm a little shy...deal with it.

Soon, everyone is in their seats, and our homeroom teacher begins taking attendance.

"Bailee," he calls out in a monotone, slowly pacing back and forth at the front of the classroom. "Here," my classmate says, nonchalantly. "Drake B.," he carries out, continuing his pace. "Here," my peer sighs. I look out the window, just thinking, as our homeroom teacher keeps calling out names for, what seems like, eternity.

When he says my name, I just blankly call out, "Here!" before retreating to my train of thought.

I don't know why, but all of a sudden, I have this paranoia that's eating me up. I just can't shake the feeling of something bad happening, and it only makes me fear the rest of the day, which I've–honestly–hardly ever done before. I have a great family, good grades, a lovely girlfriend, a good reputation, just an amazing life... No health, or mental health, issues have taken place and I definitely do not have any learning disabilities, or just any disabilities at all.

I'm really lucky. So why am I feeling like something terrible is going to happen?

"Now," the teacher brings me back to reality, "we will be having a school dance in the next week or so. I expect all of the school lovebirds to be there; it's always fun teasing you guys," he adds, giving me and a few other students a glance. I swear my cheeks turned a crimson red as I slightly slump down in my seat from embarrassment. I love my homeroom teacher, but honestly...he can get _super_ nosy sometimes.

It makes sense, though. He's a 40 year old man and he's still single. No wonder he teases us.

"The only thing left to say is that all us teachers are trying to get the government to understand that the older you guys get, the more responsibilities outside of school you have, so you all won't have enough time to fit in more exams and extra worksheets, which are honestly just reviewing what you have already learned in middle school. We keep trying to tell them that no, more work will only stress you all out more, but they're not listening. So we've decided, as a whole, that we will reduce lunch time down 15 minutes so that we can add in a study hall and get more time in for missing or late assignments. That way, no time is added onto the day, and we can still get in work when we're jammed with it. Sound good?" He explains, nearly out of breath by the end of his announcement.

We all nod and give little chirps of excitement, disappointment, just whatever we're feeling about everything he had just told us.

"Now, turn to the date–wait, hold on," he starts, turning around, setting his paper back on his desk and grabbing a piece of chalk from the chalkboard. He then begins writing a date as we all open our planners.

When he's done, he turns to us and smiles, setting his chalk down and continuing.

"Turn to this date in your planners," he points to what he's written on the board. He gives us a moment to open our planners and find that day. _9-20-01._ I lay my finger on the exact day, which is next Friday, and wait for further instructions. "Note that there will be an incentive, the school dance, that day, and then put away your planners. We have 3 minutes left and we still gotta do the pledge, so we better get moving!" he instructs. I nod, doing as he says. Other students follow his instructions as well.

When we finish writing down the date, we put everything away and stand up, facing the flag. The teacher starts saying the pledge and we all follow with our hand on our hearts.

 _"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."_

The bell rings and everyone but me scatters out of the classroom, as I always take my time because it causes less stress. Don't get me wrong; I do really enjoy school, but that doesn't mean it isn't stressful. I go way too hard on myself sometimes, and I know that it only makes you lose your focus even more. I always try to remember the little saying that our parents tell us when we were younger:

 _Slow and steady wins the race._

Yes, I know, it's from _The Tortoise and The Hare_ , a children's fable, but that doesn't make it inferior. It's very true. For me at least.

I sling my backpack over my shoulder and walk to my first period class, mostly looking forward to seeing my beautiful girlfriend, who I wasn't really acting nice to this morning. All I did was give her a hug and a little peck on the lips while she asked how I was doing. I totally ignored her, and I didn't mean to, I just...I guess I'm not really feeling it today. I'm going to apologize. What I did was rude.

When I walk into first period, the first person who catches my eye is Ally. I take a deep breath and walk over to her, going over what I'm going to say next, as if I'm asking her out for the first time. Which–just by the way–was merely a year ago. I don't want to have a fight only 2 months until our year anniversary! I want to anticipate the day, not dread it..

"Hey, babe," I mumble, taking the seat next to her, even though I know it isn't mine. She stops reading her book to look at me, and then she smiles. "Hey, you didn't say much this morning. You okay?" She asks.

Wow. I completely ignore her and all she cares about is if I'm doing okay. I don't deserve her sweetness.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm really sorry for ignoring you this morning. I've been in a different state of mind ever since I woke up... I feel fine, though, I'm just not really feeling it. Get me?" I explain and she nods in understanding. "Don't apologize, we all have those days. Now I'd get in your seat before Ms. Carter yells at you," she replies with a smile.

I freeze in my seat for a second. I never change seats when not instructed. I'm really not at my A-game today, am I?

I shoot out of the seat I was in and head to my assigned seat just in time, as the teacher, Ms. Carter, walks in and starts erasing all of yesterday's lesson off of the board. I assume it was for another class because we haven't gone over what was up there yet.

Oh wow, I'm captain obvious.

I inwardly grunt, getting frustrated with how unfocused I am, and just wish for something— _ANYTHING_ —that would distract the teacher from going on with the lesson. Trying to learn and do work is not anything good when you're not feeling up to it; it only makes you more stressed, which causes even _more_ complications than there already is.

I look over to the clock on the wall and mentally groan. It's only 7:30...I still have about 8 hours and 15 minutes until school ends. I just wanna get some sleep. That may be the reason I'm not feeling up to much today. I _need_ it and honestly, I _like_ it.

"Turn to page 50 in your books and take out a piece of note paper. We will be talking about Latitude, the Sun and Solar Energy tomorrow, so I will give you all 10 minutes to write down all the vocabulary words on the paper, and maybe 5 extra minutes if you're all quiet and behave. The rest of the day will just be for makeup work, not that any of you have any; you're all advanced! Got it?" She explains and we all give her some sign of approval, taking out our stuff and starting our work.

7 minutes in, I'm already finished, as well as Ally. I sigh silently, not knowing what else to do, so I stand up and walk over to Ms. Carter, who just looks up to me with an interested smile. "I don't know what to do because I'm all caught up..." I whisper and she shakes her head. "I know you don't have any, so if you'd like to pick a book from the shelf, then go ahead!" She says quietly, yet with zealous. I lightly smile at her before turning around and walking to the back of the class to look at the science books on the large shelf, trying to make my decision.

Hm...I guess since we're learning about the sun, then maybe I should grab an astronomy book. Better not distract myself anymore, right?

I finally choose the specific astronomy book that I'm going to read. It's 50 facts about the sun, moon, and Earth. It's pretty simple for someone who's in the advanced placement program (I'm in 10th grade, but I'm taking 12th grade courses), but it's still a good way to get information. No one ever said that books for lower grades are any less useful than the ones in our grade; they're all helpful in the sense that we learn something from it, anyway.

The class goes by quicker than I thought it would. It's around 8:30 and I'm already at my locker, exchanging my first period books with my second period. Luckily, Ms. Carter gave no homework. _Yay_. That's the last thing I need today.

"Hey, Austin," Ally says, coming up next to me and intertwining our hands together. I smile and kiss her head before closing my locker and carefully slinging my backpack behind my back. "Hey, Alls," I greet as we start walking to our second period, which is history. The only classes we don't have together are homeroom, 4th period, and 6th.

"So, did your homeroom teacher tell you about the school dance?" I say flirtatiously, wiggling my eyebrows playfully. She giggles, squeezing my hand a little tighter and leaning into me. "Yeah. I'm so happy! It's the first dance of the semester and I already have someone to go with!" She exclaims. I giggle quietly and shush her as we enter the classroom, where the history teacher, Ms. Sera, is already sitting at her desk, seemingly making a worksheet for us on her computer.

We separate our hands and set our backpacks on the desk before sitting down and continuing our conversation.

"We've been together for almost a year, you can't _still_ be excited," I tease in a hushed tone as a few more students pile in. "Of course I can, I'm a dedicated girlfriend. Unlike you..." she argues in the same hushed tone and sticks her tongue out at me. "I'm dedicated, I just have my priorities straight. Why would I wanna go to a dance when I could stay home and read, or sleep? Because of _you_!" I say and copy her actions. "We are the most annoying couple ever," she responds and I nod in agreement, trying to hold back a laugh.

Once everyone is inside the classroom, well, everyone that's present, the teacher stands up and sighs.

"We're just going to watch a short–like about 40 minutes long–documentary about the evolution of humans. This is just a review, so if you have any questions, then write them down on a piece of paper and we will discuss it for the last 20 minutes of class. Sound good?" Ms. Sera says and puts up two thumbs with a bright smile before walking over to the TV in the corner of the room and turning it on.

Ally, a few other students, and I take out some note paper and a pencil while other students just talk among each other, all while Ms. Sera is hooking up the cords from the TV to the wall.

Once she's finished with that, she gets the tape and puts it in the VCR, pressing the buttons on the bottom of the screen to get the right input. I'm pretty smart, but I'll admit that this technology is too complicated now days. It's 2001...the electronics in the 1980's were way less advanced. It confuses me, I don't know how even older people understand it..

 ** _Boom._**

A loud crash makes the whole class jump and the TV turn off rapidly, and then the lights. My heart starts beating out of my chest, and I swear I can almost hear everyone else's heart too.

"Okay, guys. Don't freak out, it's probably just some stupid people firing guns at a power line. It's nothing to worry about," Ms. Sera says, trying to be reassuring, but failing miserably. She then walks over to the light switch and turns it on. I look over to the clock unconsciously and see that it's 8:45.

Yeah, that's not important right now.

"Don't freak out?!" A classmate of mine yells. "Guns?! Nothing to worry about?! Ms. Sera, that was definitely NOT guns, okay?! I've heard guns and even a few together and it does not sound like that!" "Yeah, that sounded more like a plane crashing into a building!" One girl says.

"Guys, just calm down. You're right, it's super close and way too loud for it to be any guns. But that's besides the point. Just try to remember that we will know when and if anything happens," she says, still trying to sound reassuring.

Sorry to break it to you, Ms. Sera, but you're not doing a very good job.

I gulp and stand up from my seat with shaky legs, grabbing Ally's hand and carefully pulling her up. Then I sit down at my seat again and gently pull her onto my lap, trying to calm both of us down, as the class struggles to find a way to relax, themselves. Ms. Sera is just typing in a number on the phone, waiting patiently for anyone to answer.

When it seems like nobody does, she hangs up, just in time for the overhead to be heard.

"Attention all students and faculty, we have been informed that there was a hijacked plane that crashed into the north Twin Tower, not even 5 miles away. So we will be keeping you all here until your parents come and pick you up, just to be safe. Therefore, class will be continued, but we will be locking all doors and windows. Stay safe and listen to your instructors," the lady on the overhead speaks.

I immediately tense up, and Ally notices, so she squeezes my hand tightly. I just shake my head and bounce my leg up and down, trying to refrain myself from saying anything inappropriate, but I couldn't stop it.

"Ms. Sera," I grab her attention. "Yes, Mr. Moon?" I let out a shaky sigh before responding. "My dad works at the north twin tower...and it's bring your family to work day," I say and bite my bottom lip. A look of concern crosses her face and she just looks around frantically before finally grabbing the remote and turning on the TV.

The news channel comes up on the screen, grabbing everyone's attention.

"—a live video from the streets of Manhattan, where a plane crashing into the north twin tower has made the streets very backed up from ambulances, police cars, fire trucks, and pedestrians. The video footage also shows some paramedics, firefighters, and policemen who are off duty, going on-duty just for this tragedy. We all hope and pray that..." I stop listening. I can't take this.

I nervously stuff my head in the crook of Ally's neck, trying to calm myself down. She kisses the top of my head and rubs my hand, soothingly. I sigh as I feel her run her hands through my hair.

No. Just no. A plane didn't freaking crash into the place where my dad works, and where my family is visiting. I won't believe it, I choose not to believe it.

Tears brim in my eyes and I blink, trying to keep them back, but they fall anyway.

I feel Ally shift in my lap and gently take my head out of the crook of her neck. She then grabs my hands and slips off of me, then pulls me up and walks us over to Ms. Sera, who just looks at us questionably.

"Can he just take a breather? And can I go with him?" Ally asks her. The teacher's eyes flicker from Ally to me a few times before nodding. "Just stay right outside the door, don't go anywhere," she instructs. We nod, turning to the door and walking towards it.

Ally closes the door and I immediately slide down the wall, tears already making their way down my cheeks. She copies my position and wraps an arm around me securely, letting me lean my head onto her shoulder and just cry.

I know I'm upset already and I don't even know if my family's okay or not...but that video already tells me enough.

My dad works near the top..and that's where the plane hit. And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. Hopefully they're okay. I'm just so so worried.

"Shh, babe, it's gonna be okay," Ally whispers into my ear as she plays with my hair. I sniffle and sit up, shaking my head. "What if they're not? Ally, I'm so worried, I can't–" "I know you are, but the more you freak out, the chances of you having a panic attack is pretty high and I know neither of us want that. Just try to stay calm, okay Aus?" She says softly. I sniff and wipe my tears with my palm of my hands, shaking my head. "I don't know if I can. Did you even see that video?! My dad's at the top, it's not okay!" I freak out, only to end up sobbing once again. "Shh," Ally pulls me into her arms again.

A few minutes later and the door pushes us forward a little bit, making us look up to who had opened it. Ms. Sera...figures.

"Hey, I know you're taking this time to calm down but I really don't want to get in trouble for having you guys out here. Let's go back inside, alright? I'll give you a box of tissues and you guys can stay in the corner if you'd like?" She suggests. I sniff and look over to Ally, who just nods and stands up. Ms. Sera keeps the door open for us as I grab onto Ally's hand and pull myself up.

This is the reason for my paranoia, wasn't it? Ugh.


	2. tower collapsing & heart thrashing

9:31 AM.

Everyone is still in Ms. Sera's classroom, watching George Bush's speech from the news.  
At this point, we're all sobbing out eyes out because of everything that had happened in less than 2 hours. Plane 1 hit the north tower, then there was a plane 2 on the south one about 15 minutes later...we just couldn't take it. Even Ms. Sera is crying.

I never thought, in a million years, that the state that I live in, the _city_ that I live in, heck, even the United States, would experience a serious terrorist attack. All schools everywhere in the states have been closed and everyone has been sent home, but of course we have to stay here because we're close to the attack.

Why can't we go home? I'm sure our parents want to know if we're okay, and I'm sure we all want to know if our parents are okay. I know that I do...

"You okay, baby?" Ally whispers, rubbing my back. I shake my head and continue playing with her fingers. "You can still cry, you know, no one's gonna judge you," she whispers. I shrug and look up at her. "I don't feel like it anymore," I whisper back. She just sighs as I go back to twiddling with her fingers. She knows it's a nervous habit, but it's not like she can help it...and neither can I.

Truth is, I'm not even holding in any tears anymore. I mean, I know there's a lot more to come but right now, I have a distraction and that distraction is Ally's fingers. I'll do whatever it takes to get my mind off of the situation right now, and if this is it then so be it. She understands.

The speech is about to finish, in about maybe, 10 minutes? I hope it does, honestly. Hearing the president talk about something as heartbreaking as this is really tough for all of us. Seriously, we all have our heads down or we're looking away. It's obvious we don't wanna hear about it. Mr. President, can you please just shut up already?!

I sigh and stop twiddling with her fingers for a moment to lay my head on her shoulder. "I'm tired," I mumble. "Then close your eyes and try to think of something happy." Ally softly grabs my hand and gently rubs it with her thumb. I don't respond, I just do as she says.

I wake to the sound of a long, loud noise, followed with loud screams emitting from outside. They're so loud that it's not even hard to hear. What the hell is happening?!

I stand up from my seat and open the blinds, not caring about Ms. Sera's instructions of not to, and I gasp. I can feel everyone else in the classroom stand up and run over to where I am and they all gasp, also.

Tears brim in my eyes as my I start hyperventilating.

The south tower is collapsing. It can't be, I don't want it to be, I don't—I can't...if the south tower is collapsing then the north tower might, too. I can't let that happen. I can't. I need to do something.

I bite my bottom lip as I turn around and push through the crowed of students, gasping for air as I walk to the teacher's desk.

"Ms. Sera, can't we do something?!" I yell at her, and before she can even respond, I continue. "We need to do something, if the south tower is collapsing then the north tower might, too, and I don't want my family to be dead! Hell, they might already be dead. I just need to get out of here, I need to do something—" "AUSTIN, I know it's hard to stay enclosed in a school when many are put in danger, but it's only for you and everybody else's safety. My family lives very close to the World Trade Center and as much as I would love to call them to see if they're okay, I can't because I have to keep you all safe. Keep your girlfriend and all of your classmates as safe as you can because let's be honest, every one of our families are too far for our help, so we have to help who's close to us right now. Do you understand me?" She yells back.

My breath gets caught in my throat and I nod, knowing she's right. She just nods and sighs, leaning back in her chair as I walk back to the window and grab Ally and pull her into my arms.

I can feel hot liquid on my shoulder and I know she's crying. I sigh, tightly hugging her and biting my bottom lip so hard that I swear I can taste blood. But I don't care right now, it's getting way too much for anyone in this room to handle.

I glance up to the clock and see that it's only 9:52. So much has happened since 8:45...

Why do we have to deal with this, out of all states? We're Manhatten, the biggest city in New York. I thought that nobody would mess with the big apple; the city that never sleeps. We were supposed to be a lot less inferior than this! Why the hell would anybody try to mess with us?! They think they're so fucking great as to—

I'm brought back to reality by Ally sniffling and releasing from the hug, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. My face twists in concern as I gently wipe off the remaining tears with my thumb. She just sighs shakily before leaning back into me. I shake my head, rubbing her back and shutting my eyes forcibly, hoping no tears would come out.

Didn't work.

I just let my tears fall down my face and onto her hair, not even caring anymore. I'm probably wrong. The terrorists probably did hijack another plane, and they probably did crash into some other place. I'm just being a selfish wimp, aren't I?

But my family...

I wish my dad didn't work at all today. I wish no one who works at the North Tower went to work today. I feel bad for everyone who works there, and their families. I feel sorry for myself...wow. This is the first time in my life that I've ever felt sorry for myself.

"Babe, I'm gonna call my mom and see if she's okay, and if my dad and brother are okay, too.." I whisper into her ear. She sniffs and releases from the hug, nodding. I reach into my back pocket and grab my phone. I flip it open and take a deep breath.

Once I've dialed my mom's number, I shakily bring my phone up to my ear and shut my eyes tightly, praying that she'll pick up.

 _Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring..._

Oh come on!

 _Ring...Ring...We're sorry, we cannot-_

I shut the phone and grunt, running a hand through my hair. "She didn't answer," I say and sigh. Ally takes my hand into hers and rubs it for a few seconds before taking her phone out of her pocket and dialing, I'm assuming, her mom. I force the tears back as she puts the phone up to her ear and waits for a response.

A few moments later, she smiles.

"Hey, mom! Yeah, I'm okay," she says. I look down at the floor and let a tear slip from my eye. "Well, he just called his mom and she didn't answer, so I think we should keep that as plan B..." She gives me a worried glance. "Yeah he's fine...uhm yeah, here," she hands the phone to me and I take it hesitantly, putting it up to my ear.

"Hello?" I say. "Hi, Austin! You're okay, right?" "Yes, Mrs. Dawson, I'm fine. I just don't know if my family is yet...I hope so," I say and look up at Ally for a quick second as she responds. "Well, I'm glad you are and yes, I hope you're family is alright, too. Ally and I were just talking about how, if your family happens to not make it, you can stay with us. Is that okay?" She asks. I reluctantly cough before answering. "Uh, yeah...I just don't really wanna think about what would happen if they're not okay. Right now, I'm just praying that they are," I force a smile to make it sound as if I'm not bothered by everything, even though I know she knows that I am...

I should stop being confusing.

"I understand. The Aviation Administration just banned all flights from boarding so I believe there will be no other tragedy," she says, enthusiastically. "The south tower just collapsed and you're saying there's not gonna be any other tragedy? What about the north tower?! Is that one gonna fall down, too?!" I freak out and she shushes me over the phone. I sigh. "I'm sorry," I apologize. "It's okay."

I take Ally's hand and squeeze it tightly.

"Listen, Austin. It's going to be fine. No one has concluded if anyone is injured or killed yet and I don't want you to torture yourself with worry that they might not be okay when you don't even know. Please just try to keep your calm and send many prayers to your family. Who knows; maybe God will listen. Call me if anything is wrong, okay? My work is getting off early anyway so if you need to come home with us then you can, but don't lose hope. Alright?"

Closing my eyes tightly and stifling the tears that are threatening to spill, I respond.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Austin." And with that, she hangs up. I huff, taking the phone from my ear and flipping it close. Tears continue to brim in my eyes, but I don't let them fall. I have to hope and pray that my family and everyone else in those buildings and on the planes are okay. I can't break now. I just can't.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and discovered that it was 9:56. Sigh. It's been such a long morning. All I want to do is settle down with my family, in a blanket, watching an old movie.

But I can't.

"Hey, you okay?" Ally whispers, rubbing my arm. I look up to her and nod. "I'm just worried. I don't know how to stop worrying. My family is in danger and that's not even it. Ally...there's freaking terrorists out there. Who knows, maybe they're targeting schools and airports and restaurants and just regular houses-" "AUSTIN, stop stressing. They're probably gonna hunt down the terrorists and arrest them anyway. They won't be a threat in a week, I promise," she reassures.

"Ugh! I just need a break. Maybe that will help me recuperate enough to make it through the rest of the day." I run my fingers through my hair out of frustration. "Yeah, maybe you do. Come here," she says, putting her arms out for a hug. I fall into her arms, almost dramatically.

This is so frustrating.

"Attention all students and faculty: we will be continuing our regular school day. Head to your fourth periods and we will inform you if anything else happens. Thank you."

The overhead says, and I sigh in relief. My fourth period is with Ally, and it has no windows facing the World Trade Center. I guess all I have to say for that is _hallelujah!_

"Well, at least we're together," Ally says as we walk through the halls. "Yeah, but my legs are still shaking." "I can't blame you," she mutters as we walk into our fourth period classroom. It was music class, and probably my most favorite class of all time. But I feel like I won't be 'in it' today, considering what happened. Oh the glory.

Mr. Thompson, the music teacher, was over near the trombones. He was polishing them, as if he hadn't already cleaned them yesterday before school ended, and we left. I know him well enough; he cleans everything once it's been used. He has a 6th period band class...have I said enough? I sure hope so.

"Hi, Mr. Thompson," I clear my throat to catch his attention. He turns around to face me and smiles genuinely, somehow making me feel small. "Hi, Austin. You ready for class today?" I nod. "And you?" He looks to Ally beside me and she nods, also. "Alright, good." He walks over to his desk, just as more students pile in.

"So..." Ally starts, grabbing my attention. "You ready to get your mind off of it for the rest of the day?" I glare at her. "It already was, but then you had to bring it up again." She looks appalled. "Sorry," she responds with a slightly sarcastic tone of voice, and mien. I breathe in sharply, releasing my hand from hers.

It's going to be a long day.

The bell rings and everyone gets seated. Mr. Thompson erases everything off of the board and turns to us exasperatedly.

"Okay, guys. I hope we're all in for continuing to learn about the history of music. Are we?" He asks. Nobody responds, surprisingly. "Ok, well...I've decided that we're going to take a small break from the lesson and watch a movie. You guys pick," he holds up two DVD's, "Lady and The Tramp or 101 Dalmatians?"

A jumble of responses come from everyone in the room, excluding me. I was mad, for some reason. Maybe it was that little outburst I had with Ally, or I'm just mad at the terrorists. Either way, I'm too angry to respond. I really don't care what movie we watch, either. I love them both.

"Ok! Ok! Raise your hand for Lady and The Tramp," he pauses and waits as some students raise their hands. He counts how many before saying, "Ok, put your hands down. Now raise your hands if you want 101 Dalmatians." Everyone else in the room raises their hands, except me, and he counts them as well. "Ok, Lady and The Tramp it is! Mr. Moon, why didn't you raise your hand?" He asks me.

Everyone turns my direction and I shrink in my seat. "I don't know," I mumble whilst mildly shrugging my shoulders. Once everyone looks away, I let out my breath. Why is all this pressure being put on me today?

He goes to put the tape in and I twiddle with my fingers. The suspension of not knowing if my family is or okay or not is killing me. I'm worried..and I don't think there's any way around it.

The beginning credits of the movie start playing as Mr. Thompson walks over to the light switch and flips it off.

"Okay class, I want you to be quiet as the movie plays and if not, we will continue the lesson. Understood?" He announces and we all give some sort of confirmation. "Good." And with that, he walks back to his desk.

I take my phone out of my pocket, clicking one of the side buttons to illuminate the screen. Fortunately, it wasn't a bright light, so it didn't disturb anybody. Boy, would that be a nightmare.

10:03.

Sigh. Hopefully nothing else bad will happen. I honestly don't think I can handle any more.

A very long and loud sound drowns out the movie on the screen, causing my heart to start palpitating. That's not the North tower, right? It can't be. I refuse to believe that it is.

Everyone in the room starts talking all at once, agitating Mr. Thompson even more than he already was. He turns off the TV before turning to us and yelling, "Settle down! Settle down!" but we could barely hear him because of the thunderous reverberation.

"Attention all students, staff, interns, and faculty: the North tower has collapsed and debris is heading our way. No one is allowed to exit the building until we're informed that it's safe to do so." The overhead can be heard, about 2 minutes later.

I just let my tears fall. I don't even hide it. My family is dead. I just know it. It would be a miracle if they made it out alive. But I've lost all hope for that. There's no way in hell they could've made it out.

Chances are...I'm an orphan.

My thoughts are interrupted as I notice somebody sitting next to me. I recognize Ally, and look to my lap without a word. I'm not mad at her anymore, I'm just drained. I stressed over this all morning, only to conclude what I was thinking in the first place:

My family is dead.

"Babe, you okay?" She asks, taking my hand. I decide to be ingenuous and shake my head. "I'm tired." I rest my head on her shoulder. "You can come home with me today, alright?" She whispers. "I wish I had more friends. I wish I had my family.." I say in lieu of an answer. I hear her sigh, rubbing the top of my hand with her thumb.

"I just don't want you to go home alone when there's a possibility of terrorists being on the streets right now," she says, and I scoff. "I hope they all got killed on the planes," I mutter with gritted teeth. "So do I. But you haven't answered my question," she says, rather calmly. "Yes. I'll go home with you if we're ever allowed out of this stinking building." I grunt. "It'll happen," she chuckles.

Oh Ally...always trying to look on the bright side.

"Alls..." I whisper a few moments later. "Yes?" She whispers back. "...Why did this have to happen? I still have 2 years until I'll be in college; I need my parents to help me through the rest of high school. I need my little brother to remind me of when I was younger, and when I was free-spirited and didn't have to worry about school all the time. I need my family to keep me grounded. What's going to happen if they don't make it?"

I start sobbing, not caring if anyone stares. "Babe...just hope for the best and I'm sure it'll all be fine." She rubs my back. I solely stuff my head into the crook of her neck and continue sobbing.

I hope those terrorists go to hell.

"Shh...it's okay," Ally consoles.

The lights suddenly turn on, making me peek at Mr. Thompson, who's changing the channel on the TV to the local news station. It's like second period all over again. Is this day ever going to end?!

"The streets are buzzing with pedestrians who don't know what to do or where to go. I don't blame them. Can you, John?" The news reporter asks his co-reporter. "Yea, I can. It's such a scary thing, you know? Having our own city being-"

I tune it out, again. This is all way too much for me to handle. If Ally wasn't embracing me right now, I would very well have a panic attack. I just don't understand why anyone would have the heart to kill, or attempt to kill. Why? ...Just why?


	3. going out of town

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything you may recognize, such as Austin & Ally, most 9/11 events, etc.**

* * *

"Attention all students and faculty. Our mayor, Rudolph Giuliani, has ordered lower Manhattan to be evacuated, so we will be calling your parents to let them know you are safe and need to be taken out of town, at least for the day. Thank you."

Well, it looks like I'm going home with Ally for the day...or longer. Yeah, probably longer.

"I'm coming with you, Ally." I mumble into her shirt. "I know you are. Just try to stay calm for me, okay?" She responds. I nod, closing my eyes tightly and trying to get my mind off of the whole situation.

That probably won't work.

A few minutes go by and someone's already going home. I'm actually sort of hoping my mom and brother didn't go to my dad's work today, and might pick me up. But that's out of the question; I already called, and nobody picked up. Sigh. _For the millionth time today._

"Alls?" I grab her attention. "Yes, babe?" She asks. "If they don't make it...what do I do?" I ask so quietly that it's hard to even hear my voice. "Come with us...we'll figure it out with you," she says sweetly. Nodding, I take her hands into my shaky ones.

My attention is turned towards the now ringing phone on Mr. Thompson's desk. He goes over to answer it and I listen for my name, but it doesn't come up. I look back to Ally and I's hands, devastated.

Yeah, I've lost all hope..

* * *

After about 20 minutes, Ally finally gets to go home. We tell the teacher my whole situation and he gives us permission to leave together. _Thank you_ , Mr. Thompson.

"So... I believe we're heading past the damage of the attack because my house is west of the World Trade Center, so–" I cut her off. "No, I won't close my eyes, if that's what you're worried about." "Why?" I hesitate. "Because it's gonna be hard to look away..."

I feel a tug at my hand and I look down to see her intertwining our fingers. "Stay strong, Aus."

No more words were said between us as we walked into the front office. Ally's parents were already waiting for us with open arms. Well, at least for Ally.

"Oh..how are you sweetie? You're okay, right?" Her mom, Penny bombards her with questions, all of which she just answers with a huge hug. Her father, Mr. Dawson (his real name is Lester but he doesn't allow me to call him that, to keep it professional), walks over to me and gives me a pat on the back.

"You alright?" He asks and I nod bashfully. We've always had good relationship, but I still feel diffident around him. I'm always afraid of disappointing him. He's not one of those overprotective fathers that you see in movies, but more of a loving father who just wants the best for his daughter. Luckily he thinks I'm good for her, but I don't know...I just hope I don't mess up.

"Austin, hi!" Penny embraces me in her arms. I sigh over her shoulder and close my eyes lightly. I feel more comfortable around her.

We release and she inundates me with questions. I'm still in shock from what had happened not too long ago, and I'm so worried about my family, so I answer the best I can. They were all about me and my classmates, though, not my family. Probably because she figures they didn't make it.

I can understand why.

Penny said that it would be best to stay close together when we walk to the car, and we all agreed. I mean, who knows what other dangers there might be out there?

* * *

"So, Austin." I shift my eyes to the rear view mirror to see Mr. Dawson looking at me, just as he turns his attention back to the road. "Yes?" "Do you want to go to the hospital and see if your family is there, and alright?" He doesn't take long to respond, seeing that there's a huge traffic jam ahead of us. Biting the inside of my cheek, I think.

Should I? I mean..it's my family, and I do really want to know if they're okay. But I don't want to hold them back and plus, there's probably a huge set of people waiting to see if their loved ones are okay, so we'd get backed up and have to wait forever anyway.

"Uh...no. We can go tomorrow. I've had enough for the day," I respond.

Hey. At least I have some people to stay with so I won't be lonely. I'm most definitely grateful for that.

"Alright good, because I already passed it." My frown turns upside down as I see his' do the same. I needed that subtle humor.

We start moving again and I look back out the window, my eyes unconsciously widening at the sight. "Oh my god..Ally," I whisper, lightly tapping her leg. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. "What?" She whispers back, peering at the view beside me. "Holy shit.."

I ignore her blatant use of profanity, taking it all in. So much is running through my mind that I doubt I can even function properly. Heck, I'm probably sedentary right now. The damage is that bad.

"Allyson.." Her mom scolds from the passenger's seat. "I'm sorry, mom. I just...what the hell?" Ally breathes and this time, her mom doesn't say anything. She most likely understands now.

"Alls, what if they don't make it?" I ask, not taking my eyes off of the destructed towers and the crowds of policemen, firefighters, and paramedics surrounding it. "You've already asked me this question." "I know.." The car starts slowly moving forward and I bring myself to look back at her. "Then why are you asking it again?" She asks with a bittersweet attitude. "Because I need fucking closure, okay?!" I snap. Everyone in the car mutes themselves, and I swear I heard Mr. Dawson cuss under his breath.

I grunt and cross my arms, looking back out the window and drowning in self-pity. No one gets how hard this is... Can I just meet one person who's actually had their family be in danger because of this stupid attack? Please?

"Kids, listen," Mr. Dawson speaks up, making both Ally and I look at him. "Now I know this is terrifying and confusing, and we're just as shocked as you are. But we need to hold it together at least until we get to our house. Austin, I don't know if Penny has told you, but we've come to a conclusion that you'll be staying with us until we know if you're family is okay or not. So that means you're coming with us to New Jersey and staying in Ally's uncle's house. He's aware that you will be coming, and I'm letting you two sleep in the same bed for the purpose of the house being too crowded. But if you don't behave for the rest of this car ride, I will make Ally sleep with us. So, you lose some and you get some. What's it gonna be?"

His stern voice only makes me nervous, but my persistence just _has_ to kick in.

"Why New Jersey, though? Why can't I just stay here with my family, whether they're deceased or not? I mean, I get that you want me safe but-" "No but's! ...Other than your own, which will be getting kicked out of this car and onto the dangerous road if you don't stop while you're ahead-" "I can say whatever I want, okay? You're my girlfriend's dad, not anyone else. You can't tell me where to go or what to do! I'm my own person and if I wanna stay in Manhattan then I can!" "You won't be safe in Manhattan!"

I grunt. "You're not my dad, can you please just shut the fuck up and let me do whatever I want?!" I yell. "No! How about you shut the fuck up before I throw you out of this car?!" He threatens. "I have a right to speak, and I'm not your son to yell at!" "You're not my son because you're a disgrace to everyone you meet. You can't say anything right, you're opinions are ridiculous, and I bet your parents didn't even want you in the first place!"

"Dad!" Ally yells. "Lester!" Penny scolds. I lean back into my seat and stare at the man. He didn't just... Did he? He did.

Tears brim in my eyes as I bite my bottom lip, staring down at my lap. I know he's mad, but he didn't have to say that...

"Lester, pull the car over right now," Penny says, sternly. Mr. Dawson obeys and leisurely pulls into an alley on the side of the road while Ally grabs my hand and lays her head on my shoulder. "Sorry, babe.." She whispers. A tear rolls down my cheek and I just nod, not wanting to talk anymore.

"Get out of the car. We're having a nice, long conversation," I hear Penny say as she scoots out of the car and closes the door. A few moments later, I see Mr. Dawson do the same, from the corner of my eye. Once the door closes, I just start sobbing.

"Hey, hey. Come here." Ally pulls me into a hug. "Why would he say that?" I snivel. "I don't know, babe, but it's not true. You're the definition of amazing, and I wouldn't trade you for anyone. My dad's just in a bad mood as it is, it has nothing to do with you," she attempts to console. I sniffle. "Well, I'm not letting my moodiness out on anybody. All I did was object, I never offended him or anything." "Sweetie, I know. That's just how my dad is-" "I know how your dad is!" I push away from the hug. She looks bewildered.

"My point is that just because he's in a bad mood, it doesn't mean he has a right to insult me. If you're in a crappy mood, you can't just make another person's mood crappy! Or in this case, more crappy, because I'm dealing with more shit right now than he can admit. I just need a break, okay? I'm done. I'm completely done with today, and it's not even noon yet."

She just gapes at me sympathetically, at a loss for words. As if on cue, her parents come back into the car. I don't take my eyes off of Ally, because I don't care about his apology, which I know is coming.

"Austin?" Mr. Dawson says, turning in his seat fully to face me. I let my eyes wander to anywhere but him. "What?" I utter. He sighs. "I'm sorry." I roll my eyes as he continues to talk. "I shouldn't have said any of that, I was just so caught up in the moment an-" "Did you mean it?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "What?" He queries. "Did you mean it?" I say again with a louder voice this time, looking directly into his eyes.

It takes him a few seconds to respond.

"No, I didn't. I just-" "You know why I'm shy around certain people, and most of my classmates? For this reason. I'm afraid that what I say might be taken in the wrong way, and that what I do isn't good enough for people." I pause, watching him as his eyes shift down to the car floor.

"My parents have raised me to be independent and courageous, and let's not forget how they rewarded me every time I did something amazing. But I'm insecure. I'm sensitive. I have demons just like everyone else, and they always decide to come around when something bad happens. I've felt like shit ever since the first plane hit and not just because it's scary, but because my family was in that building. They keep me grounded, and I don't care if this sounds mean as hell, I'm going to say it anyway: my family means more to me than anyone, even Ally. So you can probably imagine how sucky it feels to know that the people who you love and care about so much are in danger. I was worried sick this entire morning, and my eyes hurt from crying so much. As far as I know, all your relatives are far away from that disaster. While all I have is my family, which I probably don't even have anymore. Just admit that you don't understand what it's like to lose your family. I mean..look around you," I pause, letting him look to both his wife and his daughter, then back at me.

My eyes start to water again. "You have your family, and you have the nerve to insult someone who doesn't. I would say that's impressive, but..it isn't."

I slump back in my seat and rub my eyes, feeling like everything had been said.

"I...I don't know what to say, Austin. I'm sorry. I admit that I overreacted, and no, I'm not your father. I shouldn't tell you what to do and where to go. I just want to protect you." He apologizes. "Well, you threatened to throw me out of a moving car and then basically said that I'm not good enough for you or my parents so yes, I feel very protected. Thanks for caring," I roll my eyes.

He just sighs and turns to face the steering wheel, then rubs his head.

"I'll drive," Penny suggests. He looks at his wife and nods. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

* * *

We just arrived at Ally's house to get what we needed for the trip. Well, what they needed. They haven't really decided if they're going to take me back to my house to get my stuff, for two reasons: one, they might not have enough room in the car and two..they don't want to endanger me.

Mr. Dawson and I haven't exchanged any other words after our quarrel. I can tell he's guilty about what he said not too long ago. I mean, it still hurts but I've let it go. It's a bad day for all of us so I really have no reason to hold a grudge anymore; I've forgiven him.

"Ugh, babe. Can you please help me with this?" Ally says at one point during her packing. I was watching her struggle as she stuffs all of her belongings into her suitcase, but I didn't help out of spite. Not for her, but for those terrorists. They're the reason I'm here in the first place.

I finally decide on helping her out. I don't want to be any more of a bad boyfriend.

When we get her suitcase into the trunk of the Dawsons' car, no surprise, Mr. Dawson had already made the decision that we will NOT be going back downtown to get my belongings. I just agreed, seeing no point in arguing.

10 minutes after stopping at a gas station to get some snacks and well, gas, we're already on the highway, making our way to New Jersey. I have a feeling that when we get there, I'll finally hear the news of whether or not my family is okay. Chances are that they're not.

I know I keep repeating this over and over again, but I need to accept reality. Hope is for people who know that things can easily be fixed, and it'll take years for the twin towers to be rebuilt and it'll take time for everyone to heal. I just lost all hope for any hope at all. The reality is that a bunch of people got killed or injured from the attack. I'm not just going to sit around and believe that everyone and everything is okay when I absolutely know that it isn't.

Reality is a bitch, but it needs to be accepted.

* * *

"Hey guys, how are you?!" Ally's uncle, Brad, says as he opens the door. "I'm good, it's nice to see ya, buddy!" Lester pats his brother on the shoulder and walks in. Brad laughs it off as he greets Penny, and I squeeze Ally's hand so tight that I swear she almost lost circulation.

He's a little chubby with a white T-shirt and some ripped blue jeans. He has a beard that's almost impossible to overlook, and his voice is low and gruffly. His teeth are a little bit yellow and his hands appear in a reddish kind of color. He looks like a typical lumberjack in this lighting, and it kinda freaks me out.

I'm nervous. I'm still shook from earlier. This isn't my hometown, or my home. I'm afraid of disappointing yet another person. Someone help me.

"Babe, it's fine. He's nice," Ally mumbles to me and then looks to her uncle and smiles. I shyly smile too, just so it doesn't seem like I'm being rude.

"So, this is the famous Austin Moon that Ally talks about all the time!" He smiles nicely at me. "Uncle Brad!" She whines. "Oh I'm just giving you a hard time, sweetie. Come here," he pulls her into a hug, making her hand leave mine. I suddenly felt vulnerable without her.

"It's nice to finally meet ya! I'm Brad, if it wasn't obvious enough," he puts his hand out for me to shake and I do so, only to get a hard tug on mine, throwing me slightly off guard. I stay quiet, still feeling uncomfortable around him.

"Come inside, guys." I look to Ally for approval and she nods, lightly pushing me towards the door when I don't budge.

Well, here goes nothing.

* * *

"So, Austin. Ally's informed me that you're a little shy when it comes to meeting new people, so I just want to tell you some things about me to make me seem like less of a stranger, and more of a family, alright? Because I know you two have been together for a long time now and I wouldn't find it surprising if you are legally a part of our family one day. Can you do the same?" Brad proposes. I nod and mentally prepare myself for what's coming next.

"So, I was born in Maine and my father was a bit of a workaholic. His favorite thing to do was cut wood, because of the environment he grew up in, so I took that on as a hobby myself. That's why, when I grew up, I decided to get into the logging industry. I came here one day to get some wood and I just fell in love with New Jersey so I gathered all the money I had saved up over the years and bought a place here. First, it was a small house, but when I did some work for some of the neighbors for a few years, I earned enough money to get this place. I guess you could say that I'm a born lumberjack because I still do some stuff here and there."

I nod. _Well, that explains why he looks like one...  
_

"I absolutely LOVE pizza and shrimp, like I can't have a meal without it. I mean, I can. I'm just exaggerating." He chuckles and I do, too. Okay, maybe he's not SO bad..

"I'm 56 years old, my wife died at an earlier age, maybe around 25. So I live alone now, and I love company. That's one of the reasons I'm letting you stay. I know you're harmless," he concludes. I smile at him, finally feeling welcomed by someone.

"Uhm..I'm Austin. I'm 16, gonna be 17 in about a month and a half, I love pancakes, and I was born and raised in Manhattan. I have a little brother who's 8, his name is Nathan. My dad works as a secretary, and my mom works at McDonald's. There's no balance, but they make it work. Uhh...I don't have my stuff with me, I go to school, I have blonde hair, hazel eyes.." I gulp. "Yeah, that's about it."

He smiles and shakes his head.

"And you're here because..?" He trails off. My eyes widen. He doesn't know? I thought Mr. Dawson told him..huh.

"Uhm, my dad was a secretary. And it was bring your family to work day.." I pause, hoping I don't have to say any more for him to understand. "Let me guess, twin towers?" He asks. I just nod.

"Well, that sucks. Anyway," he sits up from his chair, "you want a drink? I have hot chocolate I can heat up for you, sweet tea, water, milk, and lemonade." He looks at me expectantly and I just shake my head. "Alright," he mutters as he walks away.

I exhale and stand up myself, getting ready to search around his house for Ally. I can't do all of this alone. I need her.

I end up finding her talking-well, arguing- with her dad in the backyard. I watch from a distance, not daring to get involved.

"Dad, listen. I know you've apologized and Austin seems to have forgiven you, but I haven't. His family may be dead, okay? He's been worried sick all morning and I don't think there has been one hour where he hasn't shed tears. He told me that what you said hurt and I believe that, and it makes me want to punch a wall. You guys are usually on good terms, what the heck happened? All he did was object and it turned into this whole fight, and he ended up crying. Do you think that's okay? Because you might've apologized, but you don't look too sorry."

Biting my bottom lip, I wait for his response.

"Ally, it's been a tough day for me as well. I have absolutely no trouble admitting that I picked him out of all of us to take my anger out on because he's not a part of the family and-" "Is that really an excuse, though?" Ally remarks. Mr. Dawson just sighs. "No."

"Exactly. And just because he's my boyfriend doesn't mean that we're not best friends, and that we're these reckless teenagers who are gonna skip school, have sex, and then act like nothing ever happened. We've been together for merely a year, dad, and he's still shy around you. Maybe, if you stopped trying to be so intimidating then he wouldn't be afraid of disappointing you. I know him well enough to know that he only feels like he's going to be a failure in your eyes for the rest of eternity, and I don't want that. I suppose you don't either. So if you want to have a good relationship with him, then apologize for real. Don't use those stupid excuses, and don't try to make it seem like you were trying to protect him, either. Trust me, he'll appreciate it."

I smile hearing those words. This is why Ally is the best. She's protective of me when I don't feel very loved. She deserves the best, not some potential-orphan-shy-nerd like me. But she took me and she's keeping me, and I couldn't be more happy about that.

"Okay. I will. Thank you, sweetie. I needed that lecture," Mr. Dawson kisses his daughter's head before standing up and turning in my direction. I don't bother to move as he walks toward me, knowing it doesn't matter if I was listening or not.

"Hey...you heard that?" He asks me. I nod. "You don't have to apologize. I know you feel bad, and I have gotten over it already. Ally's just being a bit overprotective," I tell him. "Well, I should apologize anyway." I smile.

"I'm honestly, really, truly sorry for what I said. I didn't mean any of it. I was taking my anger out on you and I shouldn't have. You're not a disgrace and you always say the right things, and your opinions are spot on with supporting facts so I can't hate you for that. I can't hate you at all, actually. I'm sorry for threatening to throw you out of a moving car, that was harsh of me. If I could go back and change everything I said, including getting upset when you objected what I told you guys, I would've. I overreacted and I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Let's just put this behind us, alright? Oh and uhm... I promise to never take advantage of your daughter and always put her before anyone else, and to not force her into things and hurt her in the process, and to just not hurt her at all." He looks at me quizzically. "I know you won't do any of that, and you never have. Why are you telling me this now?" He asks in the most genuine way.

"I forgot to promise that when I asked for your blessing, so I thought I'd make it up to you now," I respond. "Sounds good."

"So, are we good?" He adds and I nod. "We're good."

* * *

 **Heyy so uhm, I'm sorry I didn't put any author's notes when I published the first two chapters. It kinda makes me seem like a robot. Haha. Anyway, I really hope you're enjoying this so far! I'm currently writing chapter 4 and it's hard to write so I decided to post this so you guys didn't have to wait. I'm also new to FanFiction (well not really but it's my first story) so if things seem a little odd to you, that's why. By the way, I'm planning to end this story at 6 or 7 chapters. It was always meant to be a short story, anyway.**

 **Please review, it means a lot to me! xx Elisabeth**


	4. family is family

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything you may recognize, such as Austin & Ally, most 9/11 events, etc.**

* * *

We're back in Manhattan after a day at Brad's house and let me tell you, it's more hectic than a zoo of animals roaming the streets. Everyone is confused on where to go, there's people on their phones, the traffic is backed up, and the buildings are either empty or full; there is no in-between. Now this might sound like a normal day in the city, but trust me, it's a lot more crazy than it seems.

Right now we're heading to the hospital to see if my family is there (and alive) and I'm really nervous. I've been trying to take my mind off of everything for these two days, and just when I'm mentally stable enough to say that I'm in the right place to go see my family, I'm about to break down again. There's so much turmoil involved in this whole situation and yes, it has gotten better, but not enough.

"Are you okay, babe?" I hear Ally ask, snapping me out of my trance. I nod timidly, not looking at her. The car is quiet in comparison to how the streets probably are and I like it. I'd rather not ruin the comfortable silence by talking about this heartbreaking time in our lives. We still have time to kill until that; we've been stuck in the same place on the road for 5 minutes. It's ridiculous, but it's giving me time to prepare myself for the hospital visit.

They might not even be in there, though. That's what makes me uneasy; the thought of not knowing if my family is okay. I don't wanna wonder that my whole life.

* * *

20 minutes later, we're parking the car in the VERY packed hospital parking lot. Yesterday was tough, I'll tell you, but I feel like today's gonna have the same level of emotion. Everything is getting way too overwhelming and the more overwhelming, the more I'm going to react. Which will _not_ be good.

We get out of the car and I immediately cover my nose. All I can smell is gas fumes and dust. Ew.

I feel someone intertwining fingers with me and I look down to see Ally smiling brightly up at me. "Hey," she says calmly. "Hey," I respond in the same tone. Those are the only words we exchange as we walk into the hospital. Her parents are behind us, just making sure we don't get lost in the huge crowd of people.

I reluctantly walk to the reception desk and gulp, squeezing Ally's hand tighter.

"Hi, I'm here for Mike, Mimi, and Nathan Moon?" I say. She smiles at me and types something into the computer. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the worst.

The smile from her face disappears and she looks up to me with a sad smile.

Here it comes.

"Yes, they're here. But I'm sorry to say that they didn't make it." My heart drops. "Well, if they're here..can I still see them?" I ask politely, holding back the urge to break down. She nods, picking up a piece of paper and writing something down.

My heart aches, but I try not to show it. She's probably had to deliver this news to a bunch of people and I don't want to make her feel bad about it. I mean, it's not her fault.

She hands me the paper and I take it before forcing a smile her way and turning back to Ally's parents.

Ally rubs my back as I read the note paper.

 _'I'm sorry for your loss. They are all in floor 3: room 374, bless you.'  
_

I stick it in my back pocket and look to her parents, who are gazing at me expectantly. "Uhm...do you guys have any extra room in your house, or..?" I ask, in lieu of straightforwardly telling them. They glance at each other before looking back at me and nodding, almost in unison. I exhale.

"I have their room number, though. Can I just go up..?" I inquire. They nod and I grasp Ally's hand even tighter before nodding and turning around again, pulling her with me.

We waited in what seems like a huge mob of people for 5 minutes before finally getting into the elevator. There was about 9 people aboard and I was crushed in between 3 people, but it was okay because Ally was one of them. As long as I have her with me, I know I'll be able to keep my cool until we get to my family's room.

They might've passed, but they're still here. And I might cry, but if I get to see them one last time... I'll be happy..happy for them. They're all in a better place now, and they won't have to deal with the emotional scars or the aftermath and I'm all for that; one hundred percent.

I didn't want to intercept anyone from where they wanted to go, but my impatience got the better of me and I stepped up to the buttons and punched in the room number before the next person could. I was getting anxious.

I needed to see them before I punched a wall.

* * *

Ally stays quiet as we search the floor for the right room. We couldn't find it after a few minutes, and I could tell she wanted to ask a nurse who was in the halls, but I gave her a look and she refrained herself.

I wanted to take my time and find it on my own. It's not like we have to rush, anyway.

368..370..372... _374.  
_

My breath hitches and I close my eyes lightly, composing myself. Alright, Austin..remember what Ally told you. Stay strong.

I glance back at Ally and she gives me an encouraging smile. Then, with some deep breaths, I walk in.

The first thing I notice is the deactivated machines next to all of them. Then the beige sheet covers over their bodies...and then the smell. Kind of fruity; not how I expected it to be. They all have tags attached to their big toes, which I find odd, but understandable. The nurses probably put them there to show people their status, but I wouldn't know. I've never been in this situation before...

I bite my lip as I detach my hand from Ally's and take a few steps over to them. I take a moment to decide who to "talk" to first. I finally decide on my dad, then my mom, and afterwards my brother. My parents gave birth to me first, so I might as well pay them the same respect..but in different conditions.

I look to my left to see a roll-y chair and with no hesitation, I roll it behind me and sit down, scooting it a bit forward to get into the right position. I reluctantly graze my fingers over his arm, shivering when I feel how cold it is. I find my composure and take a deep breath, shutting my eyes.

Here I go.

"Hey dad...um, I know I didn't properly say goodbye to you this morning and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for anything wrong I did in my life, and for..well, I don't know. I guess I'm sorta blanking out. Uhh.." I pause, gasping as I feel a hand on my back but relaxing once I see Ally pulling up a chair of her own, beside me.

I continue with a sigh.

"I'm sorry for yesterday. You were just going to work like anyone else, and for some reason you just had to deal with a dumb plane and shitty ass hijackers. And no, I never curse. I just..I guess this whole situation has gotten the better of me? I don't know, but I was freaking out when I heard the huge _boom_ come out of nowhere. Our TV went off, we could hear everyone in the streets screaming...I still don't understand why anyone would ever have the heart to do that. You know, hurt and kill innocent people?"

I pause, licking my lips and glancing at my hands.

"But I guess it was for the best, I mean..now you don't have to deal with the pain, and all the arguments and setbacks..just the ultimate aftermath. I, and everyone else who wasn't on those buildings or in those planes, might not experienced the same exact level of fear and worry as you guys did, as well as pain. But we sure as hell got a big portion of it. I broke down the second I heard about the first hit, and then when the tower collapsed..I lost it. I lost my strength, I lost my confidence, my hope...and you guys," I mumble the last part.

"Babe, it's okay..keep going," I can hear Ally whisper beside me. I just nod.

"It hasn't been that long and I miss you already. I miss all of you already...and you're all in this room. You're not _here_ , though..which saddens me a lot more than I feel like you'd expect. And I know you've always wanted the best for me, and I'm definitely not in the right place right now to give that to you..but I'll get there eventually. I promise. I love you and I'll move on with my life as anyone would, with the exception of you, mom, and Nathan. It'll be tough, but I know it's what you've always wished and will always wish. I would know..I remember what you wrote in your will," I chuckle, "I'll keep it, don't worry."

"I love you."

I finally break down, and Ally takes it upon herself to embrace me tightly, letting me sob into her shoulder. She just hushes me calmly and holds me for a few minutes.

The sound of footsteps coming closer to us makes me want to disappear from embarrassment. Whoever it is, I still don't want to be seen like this. Sobbing into my girlfriend's shoulder in front of my deceased family..? Nah. I'll pass.

"Are you two alright?" A soft voice echos through the room and I know it's no one to be worried about; it's just a nurse.

We release from our hug and I wipe my eyes, nodding at her. Ally smiles sadly in her direction as I scrutinize the woman covertly.

She's black, a little curvy, with short, dark brown hair, and light pink painted nails. Her demeanor is humble and bright, and I trust that. Although, there's still a possibility of her kicking us out and for that, I would yell at her with no hesitation whatsoever.

It's just how it goes.

"Are you sure?" She asks, her voice still filled with sympathy. "I'm alright. My boyfriend here is just talking to his family," Ally finally spoke. I let the woman come closer to me and kneel down, her hand on the back of my chair.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Her tone never changes. I finally nod. "I suppose. Just kinda shook, and upset," I admit. "Well, I'm Dr. Tara and I'm checking up on everyone so if you're here any longer and you see me again, that's why. What's your name?" I exhale. "Austin, and that's Ally." I point a friendly hand towards my partner.

"Well, hello Ally," Dr. Tara greets her. Ally smiles at her genuinely in lieu of an answer.

"Now, I want you to do me a favor." I look at Dr. Tara again and I give her an indication to go on. "Give each one of your loved ones a list of positive things about them. Write your name and how you're related on each paper, and fold it closed. Put it by their beds, and you're done."

I nod, but look at her questionably. "Okay, but what's this for?"

"A memorial. Your family and a bunch of others are going to be honored in the walls of this hospital and the other hospitals that the first responders brought the victims to. It's been a tough time for everyone, and it'd be a shame if we didn't give the victims the respect they deserve."

"Oh." I slowly start to smile. "That actually sounds really great. Thank you so much," I thank her. "No problem. Good luck," she says before standing up again and walking out of the room.

I huff before turning back to my dad and remembering that I already talked to him. Well, now my mom.

I roll the chair over to my mom's bed and take her hand, not shivering when I feel the cold.

"Hey mom, it's Austin. Dad and Nathan are right beside you, and they're with you up there in heaven. You still have your family with you, and I think that's a lot better than suffering through this yourself. I mean, I don't have you guys, but you're all in my heart and always will be, so in a way..you actually are," I sigh. "I'm sorry for anything wrong I've done in the past to deserve this, and I know you don't think I did anything wrong and I doubt it too, I just..I'm sorry. I'm sorry for sneaking out to go hang out with Dez, in the fifth grade. He told me that he had pancakes waiting for me, and you know I can't resist pancakes!"

I hear Ally chuckle beside me and I continue.

"I hope you know that I will never change who I am for anybody. You and dad and Nate always loved me for the shy, nerdy kid I am and since I wasn't expecting this in any way...I feel as if I have no other way to honor you guys. I promise that, and I'll keep that promise. I love you and there's no way I'm ever going to forget you. I'll talk to you guys everyday. I miss you," I finish, tearing up once again.

Before I could let the tears fall, I go over to my brother next.

"Hey, bro," I pause as tears glide down my face and onto my lap, "I hope you're happy up there. I know it must've been scary to go through all of that, but you're safe now. You sure did have a lot of time left, and I really wanted you to grow up and I wanted to watch you graduate at least elementary school, let alone high school. But I'm sure you're doing your best up there to keep that 'E' in it's place. You really were a smart kid...it's a shame to see you go." I sniff, wiping my tears.

"When I was your age, I remember mom getting pregnant, and not telling me for a few months. She wanted me to notice the bump, and ask if there was anyone I would love growing inside of her," I chuckle, running a hand through my hair, "And it turned out to be this awesome little boy who had an interest in math and reading, but also science and engineering. He loved making things to help people out and to make people happy. He loved it, one hundred percent! I was positive that he was going to grow up to be an engineer. And then when he was 8, he wanted to visit his dad's work to see if he would be interested in that when he grew up. Mom went with him. They all ended up in a hospital, with their souls...somewhere above us."

I start to cry once again, but silently.

"I miss you, bro. You shed so much light in my life and it's really, really devastating to see you go. Your big bro is always going to root for you, no matter if you're alive or not. You'll always be my biggest fan, as you told me once, and I'll remember that. Nate, you mean so so much to me and I hope you know that. I promise to honor you and mom and dad at every opportunity I get. You guys will always be a big part of my life and I won't ever forget you. I love you," I end with a kiss to the cold, brittle hand of my young brother's body.

I know he's watching. Mom and dad are, too. They're all watching over me, and I'm going to do my best to not disappoint them. They may not be with me anymore, but..they'll always be my family.

And family _always_ comes first.

* * *

 **Hey, it's me. I was wondering if you guys could check out my poll? It's for what kind of story to do next, since is just a latter for where to publish my writing (the first is Wattpad) and I don't know which stories to transfer. I need your opinion. Please tell me?**

 **Anyway, please review! Love you guys lots!**


	5. aftermath

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything you may recognize, such as Austin & Ally, most 9/11 events, etc.**

* * *

10/09/01.

It's been a month since the attack. A month since I lost my family, a month since New York's biggest turmoil, a month since the worst day of my life...

They've already started rebuilding the Twin Towers. Of course debris and fallen pieces is still an issue, but it's slowly being resolved. Just like my shock and worry.

The school dance was cancelled, so Ally and I didn't get to go, but it's alright. I was grieving, I still am, and she was busy with family reunions and community work at the library. I moved in with her, and due to the lack of space, we _are_ in the same bed but her dad trusts me so it's okay. Oh, Mr. Dawson also brought me back to my house to get my stuff. I believe that was the first time I've ever truly broken down in front of him, seeing all of my family's belongings, but he understood. He's been a lot more understanding lately.

Schools were out for 2 weeks after the attack. The government thought it would be best for all students to stay at home with their families whilst everything was being sorted out. I definitely needed the break.

* * *

"Hello, guys! I'm glad to see you all back!" My homeroom teacher says as we all walk in at the bell. "Hi," I mumble as I sit down.

Once everyone is seated, he begins his announcement.

"Okay, so it's been a month since what happened so I want to do a little memorial, right in these 10 minutes. I want everyone to say a few things: one, their opinion on the attack and two, say something in honor of those who's lives were lost, whether you know them or not. Okay, Bailee!"

I look over to my classmate, just as she begins ranting about how stupid the attack was. "Ok, Bailee, wrap it up. We only got a few minutes," the teacher interrupts her. She does as she's told and he picks another student to go.

"Honestly, it was the scariest thing ever. Whoever has the heart to do that is sick. And I'm sad about everyone who died, but I'm happy they're in peace," a kid named David says.

"Alright. Samantha!"

"I think it was really really stupid and every one of those terrorists should be punished BIG time. The people who died were awesome and didn't deserve it," she says.

"I agree very much. Austin!"

I look up to the homeroom teacher when he says my name, then slump back in my seat.

"Coming from someone who lost their mom, dad, and brother from it...I think those terrorists deserve to go to Hell. Nobody deserves what happened to them, and my condolences go to the families of those victims," I say, twiddling with my thumbs.

"I'm sorry for your loss," the teacher, who I should probably mention that his name is Mr. Lewis, says in a concerned manner. I shrug. "It's okay.."

"Well, Drake?"

"First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss, Austin.." I turn around to face my peer and smile sadly at him. "It's okay, they're in a better place now," I say in return and face the front again. "Well that's good. And uhm...I agree with what everyone else said about the terrorist attack, and I also think that everyone who died deserved better," he ends up saying.

I nod slightly, waiting for the bell to ring. Talking about this upsets me and I _really_ don't want to break down in front of anyone like I did a month ago...

The second everyone has gone, the bell rings. We all rush to get out of the classroom, but Mr. Lewis holds us back so we could say the pledge. So, long story short, I was a minute late to class. I explained to Ms. Carter why, though, and she let me off with a warning.

Oh that forgetful homeroom teacher.

"Hey, dude." I turn my attention to the voice coming from behind me, smiling once I see Trish, a friend of mine from Freshman year. We kinda went off in different directions after the year ended, but she stayed good friends with Ally. I wonder why she's in this class, though. I've never seen her in here before.

"Hey. Did you transfer classes?" I ask, crossing my arms. She sighs. "Yeah. My old science teacher was being difficult with me so I decided to transfer," she offers as an obvious excuse for the truth. I just nod, my lips twitching upward. "What really happened?" I inquire.

"He gave me a referral for being disruptive so I cut him off my schedule," she responds. I nod. "You know you're responsible for that, though..right?" I tease. She rolls her eyes and pushes my chest playfully. "Yeah, I know. It's just been a little tough for me to concentrate since the whole..you know," she says. My smile dissipates. "Yeah...I know."

"Hey, isn't Ally supposed to be in here?" She asks, quick to change the subject. "Uhh..yeah. She might've gotten called to the office during homeroom or something. We walked in together so I don't know where she could have went..."

Our conversation came to an end when the bell rang, making me quickly sit down and Trish to walk over to Ms. Carter and ask for further instructions.

I take out everything I need as Ms. Carter sends Trish to the seat beside me and stands in the middle of the classroom. I try to clear my last discussion out of my mind but end up failing. I lay my head down on the desk, still listening to what the teacher says.

"Alright, guys. I know this is science class, but the school board is making me go over some history. So...today, we will be going over wars and-" I pick my head up, unable to control my actions.

"Can we not talk about wars and stuff for a little bit? I've already had my fair share of them; I don't have anything to learn," I retort rudely. Ms. Carter crosses her arms and looks at me disapprovingly. "Mr. Moon, think about what you're saying," she says, strictly. "I am thinking about what I'm saying. We don't need to learn about this stuff when we just experienced it a month ago!" I assert, my voice gradually becoming louder.

"You don't control what I have to teach, and neither do I so if you want to complain, either write a letter to the school board or go to the office. I won't tolerate any objections of lessons in this class and you've had me long enough to know this. Stop misbehaving, Mr. Moon," She scolds.

I huff.

"Well okay. You wanna teach about wars? Go ahead. I'll contribute. I'll get up there and explain what it felt like to know that my mom, brother, dad were all in the north tower when the plane hit and when the building collapsed. I'll explain what it felt like when my mom didn't answer the phone when I called her. I'll explain how it felt to have to go home with my girlfriend because I had no one to pick me up," I pause and watch as her expression turns soft, then continue.

"I'll explain how I felt when the receptionist at the hospital informed me that my family was dead. I'll explain what it felt like moving in with my girlfriend because of no close relatives, leaving my whole childhood behind. I'll explain the feeling of loneliness in a city filled with more than 1 million people. I'll expla-" "That's enough, Austin."

I stare at her with cold eyes, and she stares back with guilty ones before walking back to the middle of the classroom. Silence fills the room as she starts to speak.

"You're right. You guys may have not lived in the time where wars were all day long, and all night long..but you have had your experiences. And you made a point, Austin. You made a point that us adults don't understand very well these days."

I watch intently as she makes eye contact everyone in the room, me coming last.

"There is more than one tragedy..in a tragedy. There's more than just the event. There's the emotional deal, the grief, the physical pain, the government's way of handing all of it, the loss of our loved ones...the aftermath. Right now we're all dealing with the aftermath. And as much as I don't want to teach about this, I have to. Because one day, people will be taught about this tragedy and learn from it. The more we learn, the better...and the more they learn, the better," she looks at me again. "I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Moon. I'll try to keep the thought fresh in my mind so I can sympathize with you. This is tough for all of us..I should've realized this sooner."

I slowly smile. "It's okay, Ms. Carter."

"Good. Now, can we begin this lesson and get it over with?" She asks. The class lets out a laugh, and I nod. "Yes," I smile confidently.

* * *

"Hey, babe. Where were you first period?" I ask my girlfriend as I walk up to her locker, where she's exchanging her books. "Guidance counselor. I had to ask about something," she responds. _Hmm_. "Oh? What?" I query. "Uhm..nothing. It may or may not have been about your situation," she mumbles. "Wait, what? Why?" I ask. She sighs. "You've been more closed off and angry lately and I just wanna help," she says, taking my hand.

"Alls, you could've told me you were gonna ask the guidance counselor about it. I would've come with," I say. "I know, I know. I was just afraid you'd disagree and then I'd have no other way to help you." I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it gently. "Don't worry about it, okay? I'm fine," I tell her. "Are you sure?" She asks. "Yeah," I nod. "I'm sure."

"Okay, good. So..anything interesting happen in first?" She asks. "...Welllll," I trail off. "Austin," she says sternly. "Ugh fine. I kinda snapped at Ms. Carter. All she said was that we were gonna start going over wars, but I guess that just upset me. We got into this whole argument and I ended up telling her everything, like..how I felt at every occurrence."

"Wait, so..." Ally starts as we walk to second period. "You told Ms. Carter everything that happened...in front of everyone in the room?"

I nod, squeezing her hand tighter. "I kinda did it in homeroom, too, but less detailed." "Well, at least you're coping okay. ...Somewhat," she mumbles. "A little bit. Still trying to keep my mouth shut when things upset me," I say. "I'm sure you'll get rid of that habit at some point. You're still grieving, and anger is a part of that process."

"True, I just want my family back. I'm tired of hearing about it, and I bring up losing them to make a point. I want those terrorists to go to hell, like I've said numerous times before," I sigh, stopping at a locker and turning towards her. "I'm just done, okay? I wanna know who was behind all of it, so I have someone to actually take my anger out on...and just be angry with, period."

"For right now, just try to keep your calm. You know we won't judge you at my house," she says with a smile as we enter the room. "I know..but it's not the same," I emit. She lets out a sigh as we go to our seats.

"Hello, Austin. Hi, Ally," Ms. Sera says, looking through her papers. "Hi, Ms. Sera," I say in response. "Hey, Ms. Sera," Ally says. We both sit down in our seats and talk about senseless topics.

"Austin, may I speak with you?" Ms. Sera asks, interrupting Ally and I's conversation. "Yeah," I say as the bell rings. More students pile in and I scoot pass them to get to my teacher.

"Yes?" I ask. "I'm sure you know that haven't been here for the past month, except for last week, and I never really got the chance to ask about your family. Are they okay?" She inquires in a concerned manner. I look down, shaking my head. "No, they didn't make it. I'm staying with Ally, though, so it's all good." A mien of sorrow crosses her face. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Are you doing okay, though?" She asks. I nod.

"Yes, I'm fine." "Very well. I have to get on with teaching now, so..if you need a break, just let me know and I'd be happy to give it to you!" She says with zealous. "Okay, thank you." "No problem."

With that, I head back to my seat and take out my stuff for this period.

I have a feeling I'm not going to make it through today, as I haven't for the past month. It's just too hard to deal, not having my family there to support me. I've been having withdrawals. Many, many withdrawals. I won't even get into them, it's so much.

It's all just too hard.

* * *

The last bell of the day rings and I sigh in relief. The day went better than I expected to, even though I did have a few breakdowns. All of the teachers were aware of my situation, though, so they understood and gave me breaks when I needed them. I ended up taking 5 breaks in total, but oh well.

I meet up with Ally at her locker and we walk to the student entrance. Having just been informed that her mom is going to be 15 minutes, we took our time.

"So..you feeling better?" Ally asks me. I shake my head, leaning against the wall. "It's still rough," I murmur. She takes my hand and rubs it, saying nothing.

"I want them back," I say after about 30 seconds. She looks up to me with an air of concern. "I know," is all she says. My eyes flicker down to our hands, which are now intertwined together, and I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. Emotions start whirling my mind, causing me to piece together every ounce of strength I have to stifle any tears from descending my cheeks.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Alls," I eventually say, unable to hold back the shakiness that was evident in my voice. I watch as she brings her hand to my cheek and caresses it, then gently lowers her arm. "I want you to remember that you're not alone. More than a hundred people are experiencing the same emotions as you, so please don't feel that way," she finally says. I bite my lip. "That's not what I mean. I know there's a lot of people dealing with this, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just don't know if I can do it anymore," I say again, but more clearer this time.

"Sweetie, you can. I have faith in you," she susurrates. I shake my head. "Doesn't matter," I garble. "It's still too much." I rub my face with my free hand, cursing under my breath after feeling a familiar warm and salty liquid run down my face. I flop my arm to my side again, seeing no point in trying to stop the teardrops.

Ally reacts quickly and pulls me into a hug, telling me that everything is going to be okay. I don't believe that. I won't believe that, even for a second.

How can anything be okay? The words _terrorist_ , _deceased family_ , and _two towers of the World Trade center collapsing_ is proof enough. I'm just tired. That's all. **  
**

* * *

"So, how was school today?" Penny asks, driving us to her house. "It was good!" Ally illuminates. I just continue to look out the window, not saying a word. "Good! How about you, Austin?" She asks. I solely shrug, not feeling up to talking with anyone. "Kinda ok?" She asks. I nod. "Well, I'm sure tomorrow will be better."

'You've said that for the past two weeks, yet it's never happened!' I wanted to say, but I didn't. There's many things I want to say, but I choose to not utter any words at all.

I don't want to disappoint her.

The vehicle becomes silent as we proceed with our drive to her house. I glance at Ally a few times to see her staring at me worriedly. I finally give her a small smile, just to assure her that I'm alright, although we both know the truth.

When we get inside her house, Penny starts telling Ally about something excited that happened at work, while I immediately start on my homework, as I didn't want to interrupt their talk. Honestly, I'm kind of jealous. I miss those talks I had with my mom. She would always gossip about her friends and what Nathan did at school. She never failed to make me smile...

It's tough watching your girlfriend, or just anybody in general, have a fun time with their family when he have none. I've been struggling with that by just watching Ally and her parents for the past month. I never knew how much it hurts until now.

Plus, the fear of letting either one of her parents down is just killing me. Now that my family's gone, I want to be accepted into this one. I'm afraid that what I say or do might upset them and that they wouldn't want me after that. That's my biggest fear at the moment.

Taking out my geometry homework, I exhale. Why math? Why now? Why couldn't I have gotten another subject for homework?

Honestly, though... Any subject will be hard to work on at this house. At school, I can focus because the environment is something I'm used to. But here...I can't. I mean, I'm used to being surrounded by a loving family, but this is different. I'm not a part of this family. I don't know if they want me to be.

So I guess you could say that it just feels a little...foreign.

"Hey, babe?" I hear Ally call. I look over and give her a smug smile. "What?" Her eyes graze over my homework before she asks, "Do you want anything to eat?" I just shake my head no. "Okay. Need any help?" She queries, pointing at the homework. I shake my head again. "Ok."

I expect her to go to the kitchen to get a snack for herself, but instead she sits next to me. "Are you sure?" Another question rolls off her lips. I nod. "Why aren't you saying much?" Another one. I shrug, looking back down at my math. "Are you okay?"

That's it.

"STOP ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS! I'm fine, I'm sure, I'm not hungry, I don't need any help, and I just don't feel up to talking because of THIS! I'm getting agitated and I don't wanna end up making a scene and embarrassing you or your parents and I don't want to have to go into foster care for the next two years of my life because I disappointed your parents and they didn't want m-" "Austin!" Ally holds my arms and monitors me carefully as I slow my breath.

"There's absolutely no reason that you should even doubt that my parents want you, or love you, or want the best for you. You're the sweetest, most caring guys that I have ever met and if you, or anyone really, says otherwise then it will not end well. Do you hear me? I know you're insecure and I know that disappointing people has always been your biggest fear, and that this whole situation doesn't help. But you are NOT a disappointment, you never were, and you will never be. We've been best friends since we were 10 and my parents loved you the second they met you. I'm one hundred percent sure that my mom and dad would never stop loving their, pretty much, second son just because of something 'wrong' he said. Stop worrying, ok? They would never, ever, EVER kick you out because of one little thing you said. There's nothing to be afraid of, ok? Baby..."

The tears glide down my cheeks and I huff, sniffle, and huff, and sniffle. "I'm sorry," I say and immediately start sobbing. She starts to rubs my back soothingly and I continue squalling like a small child.

"Shh...it's okay," she comforts. "Don't apologize for being yourself, baby.."

I start to feel myself tremble, and I soon start getting dizzy and my breath gets caught in my throat every time I try to respire. My heart begins beating out of my chest as sweat rolls off of my forehead. I can't even register what's happening around me before my chest starts burning and nausea starts to kick in. The fear of dying crosses my mind more than once and all I can think about is the danger I'm in. If I even am.

Suddenly, I feel 2 pairs of arms wrap around me and my head gets stuffed inside someone's shoulder. Am I being kidnapped? Or are people trying to seduce me into their-

"Shh, baby. You can get through this. It's going to be okay..." I hear a voice say. "Yes. It's all gonna be alright, just breathe..." Another voice says. "Do you need any water?" The same voice asks. I simply nod, biting my bottom lip so hard that I'm sure there's blood.

I feel a pair of arms slowly remove from around me and I feel vulnerable again, forgetting that there's someone else embracing me for a moment.

"It might be scary, but it's all okay. Shh..." The voice says again. "Focus on your breathing. Ready? In...and out. In...and out. In..." I follow the person's instructions and start to feel more comfortable in their arms.

My panic starts to fade and I realize who's holding me. It's Ally.

"Shh. Hey, there's water right here," she says, soothingly. "Here you go, Austin," another voice says. Penny. Ally slowly pushes me away from her arms , but not too much, and I try to open my eyes but it hurts to much. I think it's a migraine.

Never mind that.

A cold glass is put up to my lips and I instinctively sip the liquid nearing my lips. A refreshed sensation roams my body and I gain enough strength to bring my hand up to the glass and hold it, taking huge gulps of the water. Ally rubs a circle into my back as I drink, calming me down even more.

Soon enough, the glass is empty and I fall back onto the couch in exhaustion. The glass is taken from my hands and I see Penny leave the room. I close my eyes and breathe softly, and slowly.

I feel like shit.

"You okay, babe?" Ally asks, taking both of my hands and rubbing them gently. I shake my head, turning it slightly and cracking open one eye to look at her. "I'm tired," I say. "Wanna go sleep in my bed?" She inquires sweetly. I nod, closing my eyes again. "Ok. Can you stand up?" I exhale. "I don't know.."

"Do you just wanna stay here? I'll bring a pillow and blanket and I'll put on some soft music for you.." She suggests. I solely nod. She gets up and leaves the room, just as Penny comes in again. "Are you ok, sweetie?" She asks. "Mm."

Everything else beyond that goes by in a blur and before I know it, I'm asleep.

* * *

My eyes flutter open to my beautiful girlfriend humming softly while doing (I assume) her homework. I smile, starting to stir. She looks over to me and sets her work down, then turns to me with a smile.

"Hey, sleepy. Snow White has been waiting for ya to wake up for while now," she teases. I yawn. "Stop dwarfing me," I joke in response. She throws her head back and cackles.

"So are you feeling better?" She asks. "I don't even remember why I woke up on the couch," I say and chuckle. "But yeah." "Good! And it's because you had a panic attack," she responds. I raise an eyebrow. "Really?" She nods. "Hm."

I yawn once again and sit up from my current position, stretching. "Do I have any homework?" I ask. Ally nods. "You have math, but I wouldn't worry about it. All teachers know about your situation and my mom is happy to keep you from school until you're fully intact." "Okay," I say, not feeling up to arguing. I know they're doing it out of love.

"So...I gotta talk to you about something," she starts. _Oh no_. "Shoot." "Okay, so... As your girlfriend, and best friend, it's hard to watch you go through all this. I'm trying my best to do everything I can to make you feel better, but sometimes it just gets way too overwhelming. I try not to show it, so you don't feel guilty, which you shouldn't, but I can't hold it in anymore. You amazing and I don't want you to feel at fault for anything; I never did and never will, but it gets so stressful sometimes and I-"

"So..what I'm hearing is...I'm stressing you out because I go to you when I need some comfort? Am I really that much of a burden?" I ask. "This was what I was afraid you'd think. Austin, no. That's not what I'm saying. You're not a burden at all, okay? It just hurts me to see you so upset and I don't know if I can handle it anymore," she elucidates.

I feel a pang in my chest. "I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean to-" "Stop. Don't apologize. I love you, okay? And I don't care if it takes 10 or more sessions of therapy, I just want you to be happy again." I smile. "Thanks."

A few moments pass and she takes my hand.

"I want you to promise me that you'll never change because of this, and that you'll always love yourself no matter what. I need you to promise me. Please..." Ally asks in a barely audible voice. I gently sink my teeth into my bottom lip, glancing down at our hands.

If I make this promise...I need to get some therapy. Ally's tried, I've tried, her parents have tried, so there's no other option. And I don't want to go, but I know it will help. I _need_ to promise her. She needs me to promise her...

I look up to her and nod, a smile tugging at my lips.

"I promise."

* * *

 **The epilogue is coming! Sorry to make you guys wait for this for so long haha. I loved your reviews, by the way. Keep em coming! Love ya lots 3**


	6. and years later

**Guys guys this is the last chapter. The epilogue. It's so so relieving once you finish a story and that's how I feel right now. Especially with all of the wonderful reviews you guys have sent me. Special shoutout to a certain Guest reader who truly went into depth about what they thought. Thank you!  
**

 **Anyways, it's been an incredible short journey writing this and I'm very proud of how this turned out. I hope you all are too. But let's keep in mind that I'm still an amateur writer and have lots to learn, even though I have an A in English ad did all my research on 9/11 for this story...not to brag haha.**

 **Okay I'll shut up now! I hope you like this ending ;)**

 _ **Oh and...um (whispers) of course the disclaimer hehe**_

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything you may recognize, such as Austin & Ally, most 9/11 events, etc.**

* * *

And I kept that promise. I had trouble at first, but I finally started to get better. It took 12 sessions of therapy and a lot of breaks during school hours to keep my cool, but it worked out in the end. I actually started to call Ally's parents 'mom and dad' after about a year. They did accept me and they completely understood when I blew up, whether it was at them or not.

I graduated with a 4.0 GPA; the third highest in my class. Ally was the second, and a peer or mine named Alex won valedictorian. At the time, I was upset that I didn't get that level of recognition just as I told my family I would at age 10, but I knew they were proud of me nonetheless. And I know they were watching me from above.

I believe they still are. Every so often, a flower falls on me or near me. I take this as a hello from my mom. I'm sometimes blessed with low mortgage payments and spare money; I take this as some guidance from my dad. Occasionally, I find some of my brother's old baby books. I think he sends them to me for my son.

It's August 2011 now. I'm 26, living with Ally (whom I married 2 years ago) and our 5 year old son, Ashton. I spent five years in college after graduating, studying psychology to become a therapist. Mostly because I've had my own fair share of trauma and it was definitely hard for me to recover, but the therapist I went to helped. I wanted to do the same for others.

Ally's an English teacher. She also spent 5 years at university to get her job. She wanted to help kids learn how to love learning, if that makes sense. I don't know. I honestly can't remember.

Our son, Ashton is 5 years old. He was born on July 13th, 2006 and I can't possibly adore any other little boy. I named him after Nathan, who's middle name was Ashton, and every time I hear or say his name, I think of my brother. He would be 18 now, ready to take on adulthood...and I would've helped him through it. I really would've.

We still live in New York, but we're out of Manhattan. I suggested to move a city away so I could be with my family, but still have a fresh start. There's just too many memories surrounding Manhattan...

Ally's parents have been nothing but supportive as the years progressed. Our relationship has grown so much and I'm grateful that they took me in or we wouldn't have the same connection as we do now. They easily fall into the roll of my own parents and I'm positive that my parents would love them just as much. I love them. A lot.

In a way, I'm thankful for the attack. It gave me more connections with people and a second family, who I didn't even know I had before the event. It made me realize that I'm strong and that I can handle having no family; it made me realize how independent I am. I mean...I lost my family at age 16. I was still going through changes yet I still pulled through.

I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I do still have anxiety from the tragedy, but I do appreciate what it taught me. My family will always have a special place in my heart and I will always loved them: dead or alive. They're family...and family will always be family.

* * *

"Hello, beautiful!" I walk in to my kitchen and kiss my wife on the crook of her neck. "Awe, hey. Stop that," she shrugs me off with a smile. I roll my eyes playfully as I set my bags on the counter. "Where's Ashton?" I rest my elbows on the kitchen bar, waiting for her response.

"He's over at a friend's house," she says, walking over to me and kissing my temple. "Which friend?" I ask, suddenly getting very overprotective. "Samuel, and his mom said that both kids are going to be inside all day and that she's keeping a close eye on them. Chill, Austin. I know how where our son is at all times, and I make sure of it. Shouldn't you know this by now?" She gives me _the look_. "Yeah, yeah..."

"Ally, do you know when the memorial is gonna be up?" I inquire. "I think sometime next week...why?" She answers. Suddenly, the table seems very intriguing. "Just wondering," I mumble.

Her fingers gently touch my chin, slowly bringing my head up so my eyes can meet hers.

"You want to talk to them again..don't you?" I nod. "And also to honor them...read my dad's will again. I haven't done that for 5 years, ever since Ashton was born," I pause, having the thought of my younger brother enter my mind for a moment, but then disappear as my son comes into mind again. "And I've been pretty busy with work an-" "Say no more," Ally interrupts. "I know it's stressful sometimes. We're just 26 years old, juggling a 5 year old and jobs at the same time. I get it," she says, walking to the fridge and opening it to look inside.

I smile. "I sometimes wonder why I got so lucky. I married my first girlfriend, graduated third in my class, graduated college with a 2 year old son and a major in psychology... Pretty much everything I wanted. With the exception of my family, I mean."

"Yeah, same. So... Should we bring Ashton to the memorial when it opens or no?" She asks, quick to change the subject back to before. "Probably, yeah. It's not like he'll know what's happening, anyway." "Well, he is a pretty smart kid so I wouldn't doubt that..." Ally intercepts. "True," I agree.

Suddenly, the phone rings and I immediately pick it up.

"Hello?" I speak. "Hi, sweetie. It's just Penny," the caller says and I smile. "Hey, Penny. What's up?" I ask. I look over to Ally to see her smiling at me, just as Penny starts speaking again.

"Well, I heard about the memorial and I want to see how you're doing," she says, sweetly. My smile drops. "Oh I'm doing fine, just a little nervous. I really miss them, but I'm happy there's a memorial," I say. I glance at Ally again to see her staring at me worriedly. I smile in reassurance.

"Okay, good. We're going to be there when it opens so it won't just be you and Ally," she says. "Oh, you really don't have to. We're taking Ashton with us so I'll have a little distraction. Literally," I say and chuckle. "Well, we want to. I know it's gonna be tough anyway," she says. "True," I agree.

"Well, I gotta go. Thanks for calling," I say after a moment. "Anytime. Tell Ally I said 'hi' and 'I love you!'" Penny illuminates. "Alright, will do. Love ya." "Love you too." "Bye." "Bye."

I hang up and exhale, putting the phone down.

"What'd she say?" Ally asks. "She asked how I was doing, said they're going to the memorial with us, and she also told me to tell you hi and I love you," I breathe. "Awe, that's sweet. Is she?" She asks. I nod. "Yeah. I tried to decline, but she won me over." I sigh. "Of course she did," she smiles ad sticks her tongue out at me. "How mature," I remark and copy her actions.

Yep...we're still the most annoying couple ever.

* * *

I look over my paperwork, getting slightly overwhelmed. _Why is this so hard? I've done this plenty of times before._

I end up setting them all down and sighing.

My door opens and one of my colleagues pops her head through the door. "Yes?" I ask. "Xander is here. How long do you want him to wai-" "Just let him in. I'm stressed with paperwork so I think it'll be a good break," I intercept. She nods, closing the door.

Maybe the memorial is stressing me out, not the paperwork. I've been nervous all week about this, and it opens in two days. I don't even know why I'm worried, though.

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear my door creak open.

"Mr. Moon?" I look up to see my latest patient, Xander, standing shyly in the doorway. I smile at him. "I told you like a million times: call me Austin," I say nicely before waving him over. He holds his breath as he closes the door and walks towards the couch right next to my desk. He looks at me for approval and I nod. While he slowly takes a seat, I say softly, "Don't be afraid to sit on my couch. It's not like it's gonna bite." He lets out a little chuckle, but that's all.

"So, how have you been lately?" I query him. He just shrugs. "Any new friends?" He shakes his head. "Girlfriend?" I raise an eyebrow and smirk. He blushes but shakes his head. "Boyfriend?" I wiggle my eyebrows. He finally smiles.

Xander is 16 years old, and is pretty shy. He keeps to himself half of the time and he has a very timid nature in general. He's bisexual and because of that, he's gotten bullied, has issues making friends, getting a significant other, and he has communication issues with his parents because they don't accept him and his sexuality. His older brother had to sign him up for therapy because his parents wouldn't do it and neither would he.

Right now, we're working on his communication skills. He's afraid of disappointing people, which I personally relate to, and he has nightmares. I hope he can finally break out of his shell one day. He's a really good kid, I adore him.

"So, tell me what's up," I lean back on my office chair and turn back and forth, waiting for his response. He shrugs again. "You don't know?" He bites his bottom lip. "Nothing?" He shakes his head.

"How about I do all the talking in your therapy session, yeah?" I inquire, jokingly. He eventually lets out a little laugh and speaks. "I'm fine," is all he says. "Are you sure, buddy? You don't seem like you're in a good space right now. I mean, usually you'd be talking up a storm in here. What happened? Someone make you feel bad?" I ask. He shakes his head again, looking down. "Did you feel like you said something wrong?" His eyes shift up to meet mine for the first time in this session and he nods.

"Well, what did you say?" I watch as he takes a deep breath before answering me. "My mom-sh-she was yelling a-at me and I uhm..I sorta-um," he pauses, "I told her that-that I uhm..that I ha-hate her and uhm...uhh..." He trails off, stuttering.

"What was she yelling at you about?" I ask, trying to understand both point of views. "My sexuality..." he mumbles. "So no surprise," I say and he nods.

"Well, I assure you that you do have a right to say that, especially since it's your own mother who's not accepting who you are," I start, not taking my eyes off of the boy, "but you could've said something different." "I know..."

He looks at me again and I can see the guilt in his eyes. I feel a pang in my heart knowing that I don't understand where he's coming from.

"I'm gonna tell you something," I say, adjusting myself so I'm sitting up straight again. "You only know me as your therapist and I want you to know a little bit more about me, so here I go. I'm 26, I have a 5 year old son, I've been with my wife since I was 15, uhh... Music is my side hobby, I'm straight but I'm completely supportive of gays, bi's, etc. I grew up in Manhattan, I named my son after my brother's middle name...what else would you like to know?" I ask.

"Your parents...are they nice?" He murmurs. I hesitate as my smile drops. "Uhm...that's sort of a sensitive subject for me," I say. "I'm forced to talk to you about sensitive stuff..." I nod. "That's a good point."

I take a deep breath.

"My parents were nice, and so was my brother. We would always have our meals together and there were no exceptions. I loved watching my dad play basketball with my brother, only to have them both tie at the game of H-O-R-S-E," I smile, lost in thought. "I was always a mommy's boy. We'd go out to fast food restaurants and order whatever the heck we wanted, thinking that someday we'd be fat. Then we'd go ice skating and she'd always help me up when I fell. We did that until I was 14 and I got tired of it. I absolutely suck at ice skating," I chuckle.

"I loved opening presents at Christmas, whether it'd be socks or a bike. They always gave the best gifts. They _spoiled_ my brother. There was nothing they got him that he didn't like. But then again, he was young. He didn't even make it to 9..." I didn't even notice the tears building up in my eyes.

I shut my eyes tightly, letting the tears escape. I know Xander is watching, but I don't care. He asked for me to tell him. Plus, I've seen him cry before so it doesn't make much of a difference.

Once I know I've let all the tears out, I grab a tissue from my desk and wipe my eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I apologize. "It's fine...now we're even," he says with a sincere smile. "Good." I chuckle.

"But why were you talking about them in past tense?" He asks. "Because they all died, 10 years ago," I respond quickly. He stares at me in shock for a moment before replying.

"I'm sorry. How?" "9/11. My dad worked at the North tower and my mom and brother just so happened to be visiting. I was your age. I had to move in with my girlfriend for a while. I ended up having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it, and I know because I had to go to therapy to help cope with everything. That's why I'm a therapist. Mine helped me a lot and I wanted to do the same for others."

"That's really sweet. I'm sorry you had to go through that," he says.

"It's okay, Xander. I just want you to understand that I've had my own fair share of trauma, and considering the memorial is gonna open in two days...I'm a mess. I don't even know if I'll be able to look at my family's names without crying." I look at him to see his demeanor turn stiff, as if he doesn't know what to say.

Quite frankly, I don't blame him.

"Listen, I don't have the same problems as you, but I understand the fear of disappointment. When I moved in with my girlfriend's parents...it was a new environment, and they were new people... It was tough. I was always afraid of saying or doing something wrong and having them yell at me or kick me out; it would hurt either way, and I had already dealt with enough. But I got through it. They loved me, and they still do. It turns out that there was nothing to be afraid of! You get what I'm saying?"

Xander hesitates, but then nods. "I'm sorry. Sorry I can't do any of that..." he looks down. "You can. I have faith in you. And if I could do it then you can: we're human. We have the ability," I encourage. "But I've been trying for years and no one gives a-" "Don't you dare finish that sentence," I say sternly. He closes his mouth and exhales, leaning back. His eyes never leave contact with mine.

"You're 16 years old. You have your entire life ahead of you! And you're spending your time worrying about what people think of you? Well, guess what? People are gonna judge you all your life, and it'd be pretty stupid to get upset over it. I mean, you don't wanna be 45 years old and break down when someone tells you that 'fags' aren't allowed. You're going to say, 'You know what? They can kick me out. They're not as cool as I am, anyways,' and walk out of there with confidence. You CAN do that. You just have to believe in yourself."

He rolls his eyes.

"It's harder than it seems," he remarks.

"And I know it is. But you're really nice, caring, forgiving, and let's not forget how talented you are. You nailed that performance for your school talent show! That was quite possibly the best performance I've ever witnessed. And didn't you ever hear that gays are more fun? If not, then now you have. And you deserve the hear it too; you get enough shit for it," I compliment.

"Thanks, but I'm still not sure. It's really tough being bi and having non-supporting parents. That's one thing I'm sure you'll never understand..." he mumbles. "I won't, no...but I can always be here to support you. And that's coming from the non-professional, non-therapist side of me. I'm truly here for you if you need to talk," I say, genuinely.

A smile slowly makes it's way to his lips. "Thanks, Austin. Sorry if I was rude..." "Hey, don't apologize. There's nothing to be sorry for," I say.

A few moments of silence pass until I speak up again.

"Anything else you need to get off your chest?" He hesitates at my question, but ends up talking anyway.

"Can I ask more about what happened?"

His voice is as quiet as a mouse. I know what he's talking about and I know for sure that he doesn't want to upset me or hit on an even more sensitive topic, but I don't say anything. If he wants to know about my situation, he has to tell me more about his, no matter how nerve-racking it may be. It's a part of my process. I trust it and hopefully he trusts it too.

"What happened? Hmm?" I repeat his question with forced oblivion in my voice, but luckily for me, he doesn't notice. He eyes me fearfully while taking a visible gulp.

"A-about the-the uhm...you know-the-" he intercepts himself with a cough, "the terr-terrorist at-tack thi-thing..." I raise my eyebrow, as if I've _just_ come to a realization about what he meant.

"Oh? Well, you have to rant about something that I can tell you're holding in before I tell you. It is, after all, a sensitive topic. I want you to be able to empathize, or at least sympathize, with me before anything else." I smile at him. He sends a glare my way.

"You know, I think I might just quit this whole therapy thing because obviously I'm not being listened to." Xander stands up and walks over to the door, not hesitating to open it, and I just let him. He doesn't look back once more as he walks out of the room.

I can't force him to stay, but I also can't have him get in the habit of this. He's not a bad kid and I completely understand his point of view, which is why I'm not upset in any way, but if he walks out of an important meeting just because he's getting frustrated...his future isn't going to be so bright. I walked out of 2 therapy sessions in total, and I learned that it doesn't do any good. But he's still new; I've only had him for 2 weeks, so he'll come around.

I just don't want him, or anyone for that matter, to feel like they're not cared about. It hurts like hell and I'd be a monster to wish that upon anyone. Let's just hope he's okay.

* * *

"So, how was Xander today?" Ally asks while preparing for dinner. "He walked out, but I don't blame him. I was kinda pushing him to tell me things and that can be a little much for someone to handle. I know from experience," I respond, setting the table. "Well, he'll come around once he understands what you're doing. Oh! And I asked Ashton if he wanted to come with us to the memorial and he said yes. So now you'll have a distraction," she says, quickly changing the subject. I groan as I sit down.

"If I hear the word 'memorial' one more time then I'm going to puke. This situation has been giving me a headache since the first plane hit," I say in lieu of an answer. "That's a really, really long time to have a headache," Ally says. "I know."

As if on cue, my little ray of sunshine runs into the room with a paper in his hands. I notice that it has rainbow-colored scribbles on it. He then hands it to me excitedly. I smile at my son, being immediately lightened up by his gesture. I'm aware that he doesn't know about what happened 10 years ago, but I feel like he senses something is wrong, which is another reason why I love him.

"What's this supposed to be?" I question lightly. "A rainbow! To make you feel better!" He illuminates. See? I know my son.

I laugh and pick him up, carefully sitting him down on my lap. Then I playfully bite his shoulder, causing him to burst into a fit of giggles. "Stop it, daddy!"

"You are the sweetest little kid ever, you know that?" I ask. He nods. "You're the best daddy ever! I love you!" I stare at him in awe. "I love you, too. So, are you excited for tomorrow?" He nods excitedly.

"The memor?" " _Memorial_ ," I correct in a frisky manner. "Oh. The memeral...what are we gonna do there again?" Ashton tilts his head and gives me the cutest look in the world. I can't suppress the smile forming on my lips. "We're gonna go see uncle Nate, and Grammy and Grampy."

I hear Ally laugh. "That's adorable, Austin." "Thanks, honey bunches of oats," I reply and she cackles with laughter. "Yea, Austin! That's-" "No no no, you call me daddy. Okay?" My five year old son nods before hopping off my lap and running out of the room.

Bless that little ball of energy.

"You're definitely going to be distracted with him tomorrow," Ally says, sitting down next to me and taking my hand. I chuckle. "I think I am."

* * *

Today's the day. It opened at 7:30 this morning and I'm excited, but I couldn't be more nervous. It's also the 10th anniversary of the attack, so I'm a little shocked that it's been that long. All in all, I'm a train wreck.

Well, more like a plane wreck.

I stretch as I sit up in my bed, then sigh as I look at my sleeping wife. Should I wake her up? Well, I'm not in a rush to go so I'll let her sleep for a little bit.

I get out of the bed and make my way to the bathroom. After I do my business, I head to the kitchen and prepare myself some cereal.

10 minutes don't even pass before Ashton runs in and sits across from me. I don't even have a second to think before he bombards me with questions.

"Are you ready? Are we going? Hurry up! I wanna go! Is it gonna be fun? Are animals there? I want to go now, come on daddy hurry up!"

I groan, rubbing my tired face before looking at my son.

"Calm down, Ash. We're going soon. And it's probably not gonna be fun, but there might be some dogs there for you to play with! And maybe some new friends," I tell him. "Oh. Okay!" He runs out of the room again and I just continue to eat my breakfast.

About an hour passes and Ally still hasn't woken up. I know I said there's plenty more hours we can go, I'm getting anxious myself. Plus, it's a long drive and I want to get back in Manhattan before hand. Just to get used to everything again. So, it looks like she'll have to deal with getting up at her most dreaded hour...

10:45.

She heads to work at this hour, so she usually wants to sleep in on the days she's off. Although technically she is supposed to be working today, and same with me, but we took a day off for an "important reason." And an important reason it is. To me, at least.

Whatever, she'll understand.

* * *

"Today, we will honor the victims of the horrendous terrorist attack, on the World Trade Center and in the hijacked planes, 10 years ago today. From here on forward, we will pray and send our condolences to the families of those who's lives were lost, and if already we have been, God bless us all."

I listen intently to the quaint words of the 70-or-so year old priest, holding my wife's hand tightly. Luckily she got Ashton to stay quiet, so I could hear all the words clearly.

"Some of us as survivors, most of us eyewitnesses, some as the relatives or close family members. We all take a part in this tragedy. Anyone who isn't here takes a part in it. The grieving, the pain, the shock, the fear... All has been endured by everyone in this country. Some citizens of Arizona, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Virginia, so on and so forth, have family members who might have witnessed or even been victims of this tragedy."

I feel a tug on my shirt and I look down to see my son, gazing up at me with puppy dog eyes.

"That's why having a memorial open to everyone is important. Not for New York, but all of this country. We all deserve to honor and reward those who we have so tragically lost. _They_ deserve it. The first responders deserve respect for their good deeds."

"What?" I whisper to him. He puts his arms out lazily, hinting at how he wants me to pick him up. I silently grunt and roll my eyes before hoisting him up on my waist, then continue listening to the priest.

"Who here took off work to visit this memorial today?" He queries. I raise my free hand, as many other people raise their hands as well. "You are all recognizing these victims as innocent people who were just living their life. You are amazing people."

I smile.

"Who here has loved ones who were victims of the attack?"

My hand goes up again, and my eyes unconsciously roam the crowd, seeing more than half of the group raising their hands.

"Who's loved ones got killed in the attack?"

Few hands go down, excluding mine and many others'. _So I really am not alone..._ _  
_

"Is anyone willing to come up here, tell their story, and honor those loved ones?" The priest asks. No one volunteers, surprising me, so I raise my hand again. He peers over at me and nods, gesturing me over.

"This'll be quick," I whisper to Ally. She nods and I nerve myself to walk up to the front of everyone, next to the priest. I take a deep breath while looking at him for approval, receiving solely a nod. I smile and turn to look back at everybody, then begin.

"My name's Austin, I'm 26 years old... Uhm..." I clear my throat. "I was 16 at the time of the attack. I was in school, just surviving my day as a teenage boys, you know? And all of a sudden, there's this loud _boom_. My heart started beating out of my chest, as I'm sure everyone else's heart was too, and I simply just stood up, took my girlfriend in my arms, and hoped and prayed that nothing extremely terrible had happened. Especially to my family. But the moment the teacher turned the TV on...and the news channel was showing a video of a plane hitting the north twin tower...I was a complete mess. My dad worked at the tower, at the top, where the plane hit," I pause to hear many gasp, "and to make matters even worse, my mom and brother were visiting him."

I silently sigh.

"The rest of the day was terrible. I remember it like it was yesterday, it was so bad. I cried for the rest of the school day, just worried and hoped and prayed that it'll be alright. The news of another plane hitting the south tower just crushed me, and when they collapsed I couldn't take it anymore. I was lucky to get out of that school without having a panic attack."

My eyes travel to Ally who just gives me a sad smile.

"I went to New Jersey with my girlfriend and her parents that day. We stayed with her uncle. I had basically lost all hope once we got there. I didn't think I would ever see my family again. Then the next day we came back to Manhattan and it was so crazy. I visit the hospital to see if they were okay and..."

Tears start to trickle down my cheeks, but I let them. It's okay to be emotional. I'm talking about my family's death..

"They weren't. They were already laying on their death beds, as cold as can be. It was hard for the next few years. I was greatly effected by it. So effected that even my girlfriend's parents recommended me to a therapist. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I still have it to this day. But I became a therapist because my therapist helped me so much, and I wanted to do the same for others."

I finally wipe my tears and smile.

"The attack has helped me, though. It helped me realize that I don't need my mom or dad or brother. It's given me independence. And as much as I miss my family, I _really_ do, this has shown me the strength that I never thought I had. So...today I'm here with my wife, Ally, who was the girlfriend I was speaking about earlier. She was there for me through everything." I hear a bunch of _aww's_ and I chuckle.

"And I'm here with my son, who I gave my brother's middle name to. I'm here to show my love for my family and everything in between. I lost them at only 16 and if I could take it back, I would, but it happened and I can't change that," I look to the memorial behind me, "So...to Mike, Nathan, and Mimi Moon, I love you and hope you're doing okay up there in heaven. I miss you," I trace my fingers along the carvings and sigh as the rest of the crowd claps.

I smile and walk back to my family, then pick up my 5 year old as I earn a kiss from my wife.

"You did amazing, sweetie."

"Thank you," I kiss her once more.

"Eww! Stop it!" Ashton complains pushing up apart. I roll my eyes and laugh, squeezing the tot tight.

* * *

I gazed at the names of my family, all next to each other on the cement.

Tears fell, hugs and kisses were given, goodbye's were said, but so were hello's. Time was spent, not wasted, and the reasons to love and cherish life stayed the same.

I would I could say that my family was still with me. That having them around is still an every day thing. I do. I truly do.

Although it's the heart that gets broken, not the memories. It's the souls that are sent to heaven, not the useless bodies. There's a reason for everything and God distributes it all correctly. He wanted me to do good for the world, he wanted my family to live in peace, he wanted all good things to stay in orbit around around the sun, so that we could see the light during darker times.

Life has many good things coming, through all the hardships. That's what this tragedy has taught me; that there's light no matter where you go, and that everything happens for a reason. A GOOD reason.

9/11 is a lesson, not just a tragedy. I respect that. I highly respect that and hope for many people to learn from it, and never forget.

I'll never forget.


End file.
